“I just need to tell our story since you asked the question “how can abortion not always be wrong?”
My wife and I decided to try for our second baby on December 29, 2002. I happen to remember the date because it was our fifth wedding anniversary. We were amazingly fortunate the first time we wanted to have a baby, as she became pregnant in the second month of trying.
On January 24, 2003, she was diagnosed with lung cancer just three weeks after her 30th birthday. She went for a routine doctor visit and expected to be sent to an allergist because we had just moved into the middle of the East Texas pine forests. Instead, a chest x-ray led to this horrible diagnosis.
In the aftermath of the diagnosis, she did not menstruate. She was always very regular, and we didn’t think much about it until it became six days, then seven, then ten. On the eleventh day she did. To this day, I do not know whether she was pregnant and the stress of the situation caused her to miscarry, or whether the stress just threw off her cycle.
But for a week we sat in a limbo of not knowing, of not knowing what even to hope for. I don’t know what we would have decided to do, whether we would have postponed chemo and radiation long enough for her to have the baby or whether we would have had an abortion. She died on March 28, 2004, and as much as I would love to have another living monument to her life, I know I couldn’t have raised a newborn without her.
We were mere days from having to make a decision about abortion, and I don’t think we would have been wrong in any choice we would have made. I had always been pragmatically pro-choice, but that episode of my life just confirmed to me that just as we didn’t need someone else at our table helping us make this decision, I don’t want to be at someone else’s table either.
So I guess this is a long answer to how abortion can not always be wrong.”