The Bias Against Short Men, Ctd

Apr 19 2011 @ 2:37pm

A reader writes:

I'm a tall woman (5'10") and I dated short guys, I even was engaged to one for awhile (we broke up for reasons unrelated to the 3-inch difference in our height.) However, plenty of guys wouldn't date ME because of my height! Not just short guys, who were often actively rude and hostile to me, but tall and average-height men as well. Discrimination against humans who are on one end or another of the height distribution curve is not limited to men.

I have to say that really tall guys are a thing with me. I'm 5'9" on a good day; Aaron is a shade over 6'4". "Climb every mountain" is my mantra. But Megan can speak to this issue better than I can. Another:

I'm tall for a "girl". It's been an issue since I can remember where "boys" are concerned. When I was in school, I was overlooked because my male classmates were Shorty inches shorter than I was and this gap persisted well into high school. Young men, it seems, don't like to date tall women all that much either.

With two exceptions, my current husband and a guy in college, I dated men who were shorter than I was. The tall men I met wanted to date much shorter women. They didn't like being eye level for some reason.

Height, like hair, is a very big deal to men. I tend to value intelligence, biting humour, beautiful eyes and a well-defined ass atop shapely legs above stature or hair (unless it's a beard – a man who can grow a decent beard has me at "hello"), but that's probably just me.

The shortest man I ever dated was 5' 2". My late husband was a noticeable inch shorter, and it drove him crazy, so I always let him assert that we were the same height. My husband now is taller and he teases me because I still find it a bit odd to the "short" one. It is strange and surprisingly hard on the neck now that I have to look up to be kissed.

From the other end of the spectrum:

I couldn't pass this one up. I'm 5'5", my wife is 5'8". When I was dating, there was only one woman shorter than me. Two episodes stand out, one was in a bar when a woman took interest in me and her friend came over and blurts out: "Not him, he's too short!" The other episode was when I ran into an African American friend 5 years after college and we were talking about discrimination. He told me that I was at a greater risk than he was – because he was 6'5". That was an eye opener.