A Mirror Break

Jun 3 2011 @ 6:39pm

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Autumn Whitefield-Madrano avoided her reflection for a month:

There’s nothing wrong with looking in the mirror. There’s nothing wrong with sometimes looking to your reflection—even when it is impossibly subjective, and backward at that—for a breath of fortitude, centeredness, and assurance. I just want to see what life is like when I’m not using that image as my anchor; I want to see how it affects the way I move through the world, the way I regard myself and others. I want to know what it’s like to sever a primary tie to one of my greatest personal flaws—extraordinary self-consciousness—and I want to discover what will fill the space that the mirror has occupied until now.

In a follow-up post, she struggles with a stranger staring at her on a subway:

Not feeling like I had an accurate reading of whether that fellow was looking at me with approval, disdain, lust, curiosity, attraction, or repulsion left me feeling adrift. I had no anchor to hold onto, no private feeling of, “Well, I do look nice today” or “I wish he would stop staring at the enormous pimple on my chin.” Without having any idea what he might be seeing, I had no idea how I should feel about him looking at me.

(Photo by Flickr user Redskynight)