I had made a monogamous commitment to my boyfriend—the first monogamous commitment I had made to any boyfriend—and I wasn't going to break it. Instead, I picked up the phone and broke off the relationship before planting a smooch on my new friend-turning-lover. Looking back, it actually might've been nicer and more sensitive of me to have put off the breakup until we could get together for a face-to-face conversation, even if that would've meant a one-night overlap. But what can I say? My commitment to fidelity was stronger than my capacity to craft a tactful exit strategy.
As the years passed and other relationships ebbed and flowed, that commitment remained unchanged. I did give the other ideas the old college try, allowing my mind to consider an open relationship or flexible setup. I was certainly open to the possibility. The experimentation just never worked for me.
When I met my husband, the whole thing went to an even more clarified place. Andrew and I made a vow to not only be partners for life, but to be on the tightest of teams in every way. In the kitchen, this might mean nothing more than him opening the wine while I bring the water to a boil. In the living room, it can be as simple as instinctively pausing the DVR when the other needs to pee. But in the bedroom? It means knowing that you have a physical and emotional awareness of one another that no one else in the world possesses, and knowing that you share a truly unique space that you both regard as sacrosanct.
Less-conventional marriages profiled here.