Sex With Cancer

Andrew Sullivan —  Aug 28 2012 @ 1:22pm

A brutally honest testimonial:

When I told him I had cancer a few dates in, he claimed he wasn’t surprised. "I can kind of tell when people have had hardships in their lives," he said earnestly. "They’re just deep and more real." I repaid his sensitivity by using his body for sex. I became barbaric, like an animal. After losing all control of my body to cancer, I just wanted to be the boss of something. I had so much pent-up stress and I just wanted to let loose. I had to be on top and I refused to do it from behind, because I was terrified my wig would shift. (It’s very nerve-wracking to have sex in a wig.)

Nico was blown away — until I started getting out of bed at 7 a.m. and watching TV in the living room instead of snuggling with him, like I normally would. Physically, I could not lay there with him. It was painful. Cancer made me more like a stereotypical dude in that I just wanted to get out of there. I wasn't looking to make a real connection with somebody because I didn't know what my fate would be.