The Buckeye Stops Here

Walter Kirn, an Ohio native, dyspeptically analyzes what it means to have Ohio decide who will be the leader of the Free World, claiming that "the only extraordinary individuals who rush toward Ohio, and not away from it, are presidential candidates":

One aspect of the Ohio character that ought to prove comforting to the rest of us as we await their decision about our lives is that they usually try to do their best, at least under the circumstances. By this I mean if they’ve managed to rake their leaves that week, their aunt doesn’t need a ride to bingo night, their dog isn’t coughing up wormer on the front porch, and they have correct change for a pack of Camel Lights. Short of these distractions, Ohioans make an effort. They show up. They apply themselves. Unless they’re drunk. And even then, unless they’re very, very drunk, they give things an honest shot. So here’s to them. They didn’t ask for this awesome challenge, remember, and though they might have whined about it, they haven’t. So whatever they choose, I plan to be content with it. Or, if that should prove impossible, numbly, quietly resigned.