A reader responds to this post:
Under the category of “you’re doing it wrong”, I might suggest that one problem is that so many people put the condom on dry. Put some lube on first and the sensitivity is greatly improved. I’m surprised now many guys I’ve had sex with seem unaware if this tip. Maybe I was the only one paying attention during all those presentations in college. And not the molecule of lubricant some condoms come with. Use a bunch.
I was glad to see I’m not alone in losing a fair amount of sensitivity during sex thanks to condoms - and I was circumcised as an infant, so my senses are already dulled – but I’m going to keep wearing condoms. When I read in that post that the withdrawal method of birth control has a failure rate of four percent while condoms have a failure rate of two percent, I take away that “pulling out” is twice as likely to result in unplanned pregnancy as wearing a condom. That two percent is a significant two percent to me (and, more importantly, to my girlfriend).
Also, isn’t it only natural to connect that post to the posts last week about guys becoming addicted to dopamine, online porn, and Viagra?
A few more readers overshare to that “Master Of Your Own Domain” thread after the jump:
Like you I’m vintage ’63 and grew up Catholic in a traditional lower-middle / working class environment. Useful information about sex, other than the church’s helpful “it’s a sin – so don’t,” was scarce. I was also a bookish loner, thus without access to the carnal wisdom of my peers. At fourteen my experiments with “what sex would feel like” involved simply clamping my erection, tightly, in my fist. The concept of adding motion never dawned on me.
By fifteen I had graduated from “MAD” magazine to “National Lampoon,” which was racy and had the occasional picture of naked breasts. Carefully reading a new issue on the long Thanksgiving morning drive, I came across the fantasy story “My Penis,” the tale of a hot high school cheerleader who suddenly wakes up one morning with a dick, and all the things she later does with it. Masturbation was described. In detail.
That night on the couch in grandma’s living room I put my newfound knowledge into practice – and have yet to stop.
I never had a problem with masturbation. There were a few weeks when I was 15 or so when I wouldn’t but the urge became irresistible And I concluded that if God didn’t want me to do it, he wouldn’t give me the urge. And there have been times when I don’t have the urge.
I have a problem with recurrent prostate infections. Some men do, just like women have recurrent vaginal infections. One of the things to be done is to empty it out fairly often. That was the cure before there were antibiotics – expressing it. Flush out the infection and hope it goes away. First time it happened it was very very bad. No symptoms specific to prostatis like burning urination or orgasm. Just that I would get up in the morning feeling okayish and by late afternoon I would be running a fever. Had to take a nap. Would take one and the fever would be gone - but the nap was hours long. And by mid evening it would be back. I’d go to bed early and wake up in the morning feeling okay. Until late afternoon. Took about a week to decide to go to the doctor. I now watch for subtle symptoms. I can predict within a day or so when I’m going to get the urge to nap. Being very very sleepy is one of the symptoms.
I haven’t noticed much of a change since my late teens. I don’t want to hump any man still breathing but I get the urge about once a day and if I don’t have anything else to do I indulge it. I still enjoy it as much as I did when I was 16. Maybe not as noisy but it’s still a lot of fun.
Depending on how you want to read Romans, Saint Paul warned us against doing things that go against our nature. Some men want to do it three or four times a day and some men want to do it once and some men want to do it twice a month. Whatever works for you. But deliberately not cumming? I’d put in the same category that we are warned about in Romans.