Stephen Colbert Kills

Do yourself a favor and check out this clip of his remarks from last night’s Al Smith Dinner, a ghastly Catholic elite version of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. But some choice gags:

I have great respect for Cardinal Dolan, though I do have to say, sir, it is not easy when you are wearing that outfit. In that cape and red sash, you look like a matador who’s really let himself go. Did you not see the invite? It said white-tie, not ‘Flamboyant Zorro.’

On Bloomberg:

Tiny, tiny man. The real reason he doesn’t want drink cups larger than 16 ounces is because he’s afraid he might drown in one.

On Christine Quinn:

New York City is the only place in the world where the lesbian candidate is too conservative.

Tip your waiter.