Readers keep the emails, er, coming:
In the film 3, there’s a funny scene of a guy spitting into a condom when his girlfriend goes to the bathroom.
I’m a gay man and I’ve faked it with one new partner a couple month ago. We had been corresponding online and after proper testing and planning we decided to meet in Vegas. He wanted to have condom-less sex and I was excited to have my first try at it. But the hot online affair failed to ignite the proper passion for some reason. Sex was mechanical and uninspiring, and his pleas for me to ejaculate inside him soon became a turn off. At one point it seemed we were both waiting for the other to climax and get it over with.
So, I faked it.
I acted out the proper movements and vocalizations and ended it, collapsing to his side in the typical male exhausted post coital disengagement. I don’t recall if he came or not, and till today I don’t know if he bought it. I hoped the copious amount of cheap lube we used masked my missing contribution. What’s worse, this repeated two more times over that odd Vegas weekend.
I never got to have my first full bareback experience. And frankly, I can’t tell if the root cause was my anxiety over unprotected sex, or if I should chalk it up to simple sexual mismatch. I thought he was a handsome and very nice guy, and we had fun in all our other Vegas activities. The chemistry was somehow lacking between us.
A female reader shifts the gender focus:
First of all, kudos for running a blog that makes me comment on things I had no idea I would be commenting on. Even anonymously. And if you ever have that discussion about opening up a comment section again, please count this email as a solid NO because I wouldn’t be writing in about things like abortion and orgasms in an open comment section because … well, I’m a woman who grew up on the Internet and I’ve sadly learned to think twice about clicking on the Post button.
Moving on to the 50-year-old lady who doesn’t orgasm: That could be me writing in, twenty years in the future.
I like sex. With men. I have orgasms. I simply don’t experience them all at the same time. I started having orgasms early, by accident, when I was around 11 years old or so and a very active imagination soon helped me … broaden my horizons, shall we say? I have absolutely no problems having orgasms by myself but I’ve faked it with everyone I’ve ever slept with. There’s just too much going on in my head when there’s another person involved for some reason. Maybe it’s a control thing? I don’t know. I just can’t find the “release” button, so to speak, when I’m sharing the bed with someone else.
None of the other women I know seem to have this problem. However, considering how I don’t mention it myself, maybe we’re all a bunch of liars just maintaining the status quo.
The reason why I don’t say anything is because I’m hoping to change it. I still think the problem might be psychological rather than physical and I would like to experience a “traditional orgasm” someday. Although now that I think about it, after reading my fellow reader’s email, I don’t really know why I’m so invested in fitting in. I don’t think the sex I’ve had is unfulfilling. It was great sex. I got off thinking about it later on, haha!
Another tosses something out there:
You really want to get people talking? Start a thread about people who come too fast instead of not at all.
Another can attest:
I’ve faked orgasm many a time, but most of the responses you’ve posted so far involve guys who have trouble achieving orgasm. Maybe it’s my uncircumcised status (Sully Bait), but I have the exact opposite malady with the exact same remedy. When I fake, it’s because a) I’ve cum embarrassingly early and I need to save face, b) she’s seems ready to orgasm within the next minute or two but I can’t wait that long, or, much more rarely, c) I’ve been drinking and I have a similar problem to your other respondents.
In the case of a) and b), it involves not only the fake orgasm, but the fake non-orgasm. The latter is a good deal trickier.
I’ve always wondered whether other guys do this. Maybe it’s because I’m not browsing the right forums, but I’ve never seen an online discussion on the subject before.