Asexual Isn’t Anti-Intimacy, Ctd

by Chris Bodenner

A reader writes:

Your exploration into asexuality has struck a chord with me. This is something about me that I have only recently been coming to terms (aided your other reader's story). As a young man identifying as gay, it hadn’t occurred to me until late that I could be homosexual and asexual. I had been led to believe asexuality to be something more like an orientation, and as such an asexual person would not be attracted to either sex. I really was just unfamiliar with the concept. Led by what many others seemed to believe, I assumed my sexual disinterest was due to a bad personal experience or just my lack of experience. Losing my virginity was disappointingly lame (and slightly miserable). I figured, having never had a boyfriend, that having a great connection with the right person would be needed in order for me to have a worthwhile sexual experience.

That hope dissolved just this year when my high standards were exceeded by a boy I met last fall.

Asexual Isn’t Anti-Intimacy, Ctd

by Chris Bodenner

A reader writes:

I just wanted to thank you for your continuing efforts to raise awareness about asexuality to your readers. I'm a junior in college, and I've been struggling to get people to take me seriously when I tell them I'm asexual. Some friends have said my standards are simply too high, some said I'm too socially awkward. It's demeaning, but I don't feel like I have a right to complain. Compared to other members of the LGTBQA community, asexuals probably have to deal with less intolerance and violence. No one calls me a sinner or a freak, or tells me I don't have a right to be married. We don't get beaten or murdered because of who we are. Really, I shouldn't complain.

But apparently I don't have the right to not be sexually active, or interested.

“The Story Of Asexuality Is Very Complicated”

Jesse Bering continues: For example, as discussion on the AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) website forums demonstrate, there is tremendous variation in the sexual inclinations of those who consider themselves asexual. Some masturbate; some don’t. Some are interested in nonsexual, romantic relationships (including cuddling and kissing but no genital contact), while others aren’t. Some … Continue reading “The Story Of Asexuality Is Very Complicated”

She’s Just Not That Into Anyone

Julie Decker identifies as an “aromantic asexual woman, meaning I’m not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone.” It’s not an easy thing to explain: “Sexual attraction is not something that is said verbally. It’s a vibe—something you communicate to me unconsciously. Sex is an instinct, not a choice.” The above horrifying quote was uttered by … Continue reading She’s Just Not That Into Anyone

The Weekly Wrap

Friday on the Dish, Patrick went in-depth on whether labels make you stupid (reader thoughts here), Chris debuted the Ask (Spencer) Ackerman Anything poll, Maisie pondered Romney's path on foreign policy, and I nodded in the direction of a political solution for Syria during a cease fire (follow-up here) and posed some pragmatic challenges to advocates of … Continue reading The Weekly Wrap

The Daily Wrap

Today on the Dish, I defended the idea that liberal democracy was here to stay, spoke up in favor of gyms (follow-up here), and clarified a point on drug legalization versus criminalization, while Patrick debunked a wildly misleading statistic from the Romney campaign. Today's nontroversy merited a meh, the Buffet Rule tested the GOP's elasticity, Mitt needn't … Continue reading The Daily Wrap

The Daily Wrap

Today on the Dish, Maisie compiled reax to Santorum's drop out and I defended the idea that the man had legitimate appeal inside the GOP. Chris thought through the phenomenology of asexuality and implored you to Ask Jennifer Rubin Anything, Patrick posed a tough question for Ross Douthat, and I both sharpened the liberal/neoconservative line on foreign policy and explored … Continue reading The Daily Wrap