“At the height of the storm, anyone outside will face a fearsome blizzard. Innocent snowflakes turn to painfully stinging missiles, darts and tacks, propelled by gusting gales that scream over the seas and roar through the woods. In other words, high winds produce a crystalline ticker-tape parade of snowflakes: furiously falling and flowing flakes filling the fields, whisking past the windows, gliding to the ground and beautifying the bushes. The wild wind whips the snow into roadside rows and churns roof top snow into a creamy concoction with meandering smoky membranes of snow granules that dance to the edges and cascade down the sides. The storm’s gusty gales whip the snow into car-capturing, truck-trapping, bus-blocking, SUV-stalling drifts. It is among the great storms, one of the atmosphere’s awesome displays of change and violence among the momentous events that over time have shaped and changed the course of human events in ways wondrous and ominous,” – Elliot Abrams, AccuWeather.com. Update from a reader:
I’m pretty sure the quote from Abrams was tongue in cheek. He does AccuWeather’s forecasts on Chicago radio and quite often turns the forecast into a literary exercise, usually pretty amusing.
Elliot Abrams is a regular on KYW News Radio here in the Philadelphia area. This type of forecast language is kind of a schtick with him. Sometimes it’s alliteration, sometimes rhymes, sometimes puns, but always in good fun and without taking himself too seriously. The anchors sometimes take some good natured digs at him for it too. So while it may seem a bit dorky, I this “Poseur Alert” is overly harsh in his case. Here’s another example of the kind of things he does on the radio: