Turn That Radio Down!

From by J. Bottum’s 2000 article, an enjoyable enough diatribe against needless music:

…the truth is that we all are terrorized by music nowadays. It’s not so much the high school kids parading down the street with boom boxes, or the college students partying away a Saturday afternoon, or the insomniac in the next apartment pacing up and down to Beethoven at 3:00 a.m. It’s, rather, the merciless stream of 1960s golden oldies drenching suburban malls, the disco-revival radio thumping out Donna Summer in the back of a taxi all the way to the airport, the tinny Muzak bleating from storefronts as you walk along the sidewalk, the tastefully muted Andrew Lloyd Webber seeping from recessed speakers above the urinals in the men’s room. America is drowning in sanctioned music — an obligatory orchestration cramming every inch of public space. There’s hardly a bar in which to nurse a quiet drink or a café in which you don’t have to shout your order above the upbeat swing of 1940s big-band standards.

Perhaps it was Hollywood that taught us to expect life to come with background music, a constant melodic commentary on the movie of our lives. But we are soundtracked nowadays with relentless demands for only the most obvious and officially appropriate emotions.

In case you missed the worst song of all time, you can find it here.