What better way to wrap up a week of Weiner than one final round of prurient-sounding names submitted by readers:
Did you notice – how could you not? – that the New York Post item about the Clintons and Weiner that had you so livid this week is written by one Frederic U. Dicker? No, I am not making this up. I don’t think anyone could.
Another asks:
Did you just write “pounding Weiner” in a blog post? If that was unintentional, I think all those giggle-inducing names are subconsciously getting to you.
I’m English by origin. As a people, we will never stop giggling at funny names and Asian accents.
Another reader:
I’m surprised that none of your baseball fan correspondents have pointed out my favorite horribly unfortunate name, the late Johnny Dickshot. That’s bad enough, but his nickname was “Ugly,” making him Ugly Dickshot.
Another:
I give you Austin, TX urologist and vasectomy specialist Dr. Dick Chopp. He wears it loud and proud too; he regularly goes on local radio stations and revels in the double entendres the morning jocks come up with. And in my opinion, he’s actually done a good amount of de-stigmatizing the conditions that lead to visiting a urologist, making it no big for dudes to get their junk checked out.
Another presents:
Iowa girls basketball star Fonda Dicks, still remembered here for her scoring … 3,598 career points!
Some readers are not amused:
Enough with the “funny” names with sexual implications. Look, names are generally given to us by our parents, and surnames are inherited from ancestors in most cultures. Making fun of someone because of the name someone else gave them is sophomoric and gets pretty stale, pretty fast. As someone with an unusual last name in which teenagers and adolescents can find a sexual reference if they try hard enough, I can assure you that all those “Dicks” and “Weiners” out there have heard the same jokes over and over. How about moving along?
You think I have my own blog so I can “move along” when talking about funny names? You jest. For those who want to move along: don’t click the read-on. For those who don’t – wait! – there’s more:
As a high school teacher, I find myself in meetings with parents, counselors, and students pretty frequently. I have a hard time keeping a straight face every time someone brings up a kid’s scores on the Woodcock-Johnson Test of Cognitive Abilities. According to Wikipedia: “The Woodcock–Johnson Tests of Cognitive Abilities is a set of intelligence tests first developed in 1977 by Richard Woodcock and Mary E. Bonner Johnson.” That’s right, Dick Woodcock.
Another:
I’m a 38-year-old woman, and it appears my first email to you is in relation to a silly, sexual name thread. I will own that just to share that my husband has worked with a Hollywood producer named Dick Suckle.
Ah, that felt good to share.
Another:
When I moved to the Rochester, NY area around 15 years ago, one of the first local ads I noticed was for a local car dealership. Apparently the locals were so used to it that they didn’t find it funny, but I still laugh every time I see an ad for Dick Ide.
Another:
Oh gosh, I guess I have to contribute. I grew up in St. Louis, where a prominent local family were the owners of the old Falstaff brewing company. Their name was “Griesedick” – pronounced pretty much as you would guess. I see from Wikipedia that the family has now re-entered the beer business.
Another:
Not sure if this one has made it in yet. Most Texans know the story about “Big Jim” Hogg, governor of Texas, and his unfortunately named daughter, Ima Hogg.
Another:
OK, since you’ve had about 30-odd posts on this, I thought it would be a great time to add some diversity into the topic. My former dentist’s name is Anita Fok.
Another:
More than a decade ago, I had a customer at the brokerage firm where I worked whose name was Irim Butt.
Another:
Since we’re all being a little puerile, I recently saw this Nixon campaign badge in a memorabilia store in LA:
All I can say is that it appeared to be genuine.
Another:
Maybe it is too late for this, but in my teens back in the ’60s I had a friend named Richard Zucker. He did not go by Dick.
Another:
In junior high school in Michigan I played basketball with one Harry Glanz.
Dish fave:
I always thought “Magic Johnson” was the best name ever.
One final reader:
My name can be interpreted as meaning “hairy male genitalia.” The best part is that this is a family name. No pressure there. I’ve been following the thread (Dishhead since 2008) and feel that, as an unfortunately named person, I should weigh in.
I used to be really bothered by it. Middle school in particular was just awful. But as I’ve gotten older it’s become less and less of a big deal. Obviously I’m not going to ever send dick pics to someone or get caught up in a public sex scandal, so I don’t have to worry about that. In my adult life, though, I have noticed two things about my name.
The first is that people usually don’t forget me. My name is memorable and chuckle-inducing, so it sets me apart from other folks. That’s helped me in building networks and relationships over the years. The second thing I’ve noticed is that someone’s reaction to my name usually says more about them than it does about me. I’m the first to admit that my name is funny, and most people will either not make mention of it or mention once or twice before moving on. There is a small subset of people, however, that can’t get over my name, and this inability to act like an adult usually tips me off (correctly) that they suffer from a massive lack of perspective.
So my takeaway in this is that an “unfortunate name” is only a real negative as long as one’s actions don’t mimic their name. In other words, don’t be a dick.
The Dish 