YOUR TAX-PAYERS’ DOLLARS AT WORK

Thank God we have a Drug Czar. A friend points out a truly wonderful government-sponsored website , courtesy of General Barry McCaffrey (24 more hours!) which details the latest street lingo for various kinds of drugs. The report also includes all sorts of recipes for powerful drug combos, a helpful consumer’s guide to “Costs and Quantities,” of various illegal substances, but it draws the line at obscenity. You will all be amazed to hear that heroin is sometimes known on the street as “sh*t.” Among other nuggets, the party drug “G” is also known as “goop,” “easy lay,” “scoop,” “soap,” and “Georgia Home Boy.” Wanna get a drug combo that’s a “Combination of PCP and marijuana, sprinkled with cocaine and smoked; marijuana, PCP, and crack combined and smoked; with a sprinkle of LSD?” Be sure to ask for a “squirrel.” Gee, thanks. Mr. McCaffrey. I’ll remember next time. Wanna track down a “female who trades sex for crack?” Ask your brother on the corner for a “strawberry.” Ever wonder what a “toucher” is? That’s a “User of crack who wants affection before, during, or after smoking crack.” Awww. A “tweaker,” on the other hand, is a “Crack user looking for drugs on the floor after a police raid.” And I thought he’d lost his contact lens. A “ringer” is a “Good hit of crack; hear bells.” Let freedom ring! For some weird reason, a cocktail of cocktail of heroin, LSD and PCP is known as an LBJ. I could go on. The site is a) an amazing menu for innovative drug-use; b) a testament to how our language is being recreated as we speak in crack houses and street-corners across the country; c) worthy of an NEA grant. But, then, who needs the NEA when we’ve got a Drug Czar?