I can’t be the only person mildly perturbed by the glee with which two Slate writers have lampooned Dick Cheney for having heart problems. Tim Noah yucked it up within hours of Cheney’s return to hospital, throwing in a few, tired, Bush-is-a-bonehead remarks that doubtless had some of his readers rolling in the aisles. “It goes without saying that George W. Bush isn’t up to the job,” Noah blithely remarked, pronouncing Cheney all but dead before he’d even had his operation. Then comes the usually impeccable David Plotz with a comic tale depending on the notion that a) Cheney is all but dead; and b) that Bush would happily milk this for personal gain. The humor-fantasy piece quotes from future press releases: “Time, July 23, 2001: It was an extraordinary scene: The vice president, just two days out of open-heart surgery, was wheeled on a gurney to the Senate floor to beg confirmation for the president’s controversial supreme court nominee, Judge Kenneth Starr. Cheney, who couldn’t speak, scrawled on a pad that “I will lose my will to live if you don’t vote for Starr.” Three Democrats, calling it their “patriotic duty,” immediately announced that they would cast votes for Starr, ensuring his confirmation … The New York Times, Dec. 16, 2001: President Bush today threatened “to unplug Dick from the respirator” if House Democrats don’t go along with his plan to privatize Social Security and Medicare …” I’m sorry but this isn’t funny. A perfectly decent man is having health problems. Leave him alone.
BEAT THIS SENTENCE: “Geminates never lenite, unless they concomitantly degeminate.” – Segmental
Phonology in Optimal Theory, edited by Linda Lombardi (forthcoming).
The Dish 