What are we to make of the latest study from Dr Robert Spitzer that some highly motivated gay Christians can, with intense therapy and support, eventually function as heterosexuals? The answer, I think, is: not much. Plenty of studies have “found” this before. This study is, in fact, one of the weakest empirically on the table. All the evidence about the change comes from the subjective statements of the people themselves, who were all recruited from ex-gay ministries or psychiatrists, and who have an obvious reason to engage in wishful thinking. They were all interviewed on the telephone, which makes such thinking easier. There’s no clear definition in the study of what is meant by “gay” and what is meant by “straight.” Plenty of the subjects could have been bi-leaning gay or bi to start with and plenty acknowledge that they have gay thoughts and feelings to this day. Moreover, the “success” stories mean: “being in a sustained, loving heterosexual relationship within the past year, getting enough satisfaction from the emotional relationship with their partner to rate at least seven on a 10-point scale, having satisfying heterosexual sex at least monthly and never or rarely thinking of somebody of the same sex during heterosexual sex.” Sex once a month with your partner, while often thinking about members of the same sex, is not what I would call a “cure.” It’s what many gays have done for centuries. It is obviously possible to train or force yourself into such a context, especially if you’re deeply uncomfortable with your sexual orientation. (Likewise, if equal pressure were put on some straight guys, in an all-male context, they might be able to function sexually as homosexuals as well. Prisons and aircraft carriers have pioneered many experiments of this kind.) But I think it’s churlish to dismiss “ex-gay” people’s stories, to call them liars, and so on. If this is the difficult path they have chosen, and that is how they want to live their lives, it’s their choice. Their integrity and sincerity should not be questioned or ridiculed. But by the same token, it’s only fair not to extrapolate from this study that all gays can change this way, or that there’s any conceivable reason that they should. Tolerance surely means accepting “ex-gays” at their word, and accepting “gays” at theirs’. The difference is that gays are quite happy to support the rights of ex-gays to marry, have kids, serve in the military and so on. But the ex-gays have no desire to return the compliment.
EX-GAYS, EX-STRAIGHTS II: Shameless plug. The second chapter of my book, Love Undetectable, is a long and detailed essay on psychoanalytic theories of homosexuality, from Freud to today, and examines, I hope fairly, the literature of the ex-gay movement. If you want to read further, please check it out.
The Dish 