NOT EVEN A DUMMY

Poor new British Tory leader, Iain Duncan Smith. He’s been judged too lifeless even for a Madame Tussaud’s wax figure. “Frankly, there are better ways we can spend that sort of money,” a spokeswoman for the museum told the Times of London. “We want figures who will inspire strong emotions and provoke strong reactions. In our view Mr Duncan Smith, who most people have never even heard of, is unlikely to achieve either of those feats. Ever. He is hardly in the news, nobody ever talks about him, and the people who do know who he is do not seem to care less about him either way.” As for my friend William Hague, the former leader, they’ve melted his body down but kept the head. What an honor.