“I saw The Passion of The Christ last night. I am still processing through what I saw and how I feel about it. The only thing I can say for sure right now is that it was, without question, the single most disturbing thing I have ever seen.
A couple years ago I went to the movies and watched Hannibal. When I left the theater I felt this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was a very disturbing experience….but for different reasons than The Passion. When I left Hannibal I felt disturbed at myself, at the fact that I had willingly paid money to watch such gratuitous and gruesome violence. Not only was there cannibalism, there was a scene where Hannibal drugged a man, cut off the top of his skull, sliced off part of his brain, and fried and ate it in front of the man. The entire movie was sickening. And I watched it with friends for “entertainment”. I left the movie as sick at myself as I was at Hollywood.
The Passion was different. After it was over I couldn’t do anything but sit and stare blankly at the screen. The violence in this film was terrifying, but in a totally different way than in Hannibal. I have been a Christian for most of my life. I have done a lot of missions work and, I’ve felt, have served Jesus well. I have thought of myself as a pretty good person who never did anything terribly wrong. But I did do something terribly wrong. I am complicit in, and responsible for, the savage murder of an innocent man, of my Lord. My faith demands that I accept this truth. I am equally complicit with every other person who ever has, and ever will walk this earth.
This Passion brought that point home with me in a totally new way. I’ve always known Jesus’ death was terrible. Always knew he died for me. But never really thought through just how horrible and terrifying it must have been. Watching this movie was, to me, like being there as a witness to the act. As one complicit in His death, I might as well have been one of those shouting “Crucify!” I might as well have spat on Him, laughed at Him, placed the crown of thorns upon His head, and driven the nails into His hands. It was for my sins that He embraced the cross and willingly paid the terrible price. All my life I have taken Christ’s sacrifice for granted without ever really considering the true cost of the cross in terms of the brutal and savage pain I inflicted upon the Savior. That is what I find most disturbing. It’s also why I can never be the same after watching The Passion of The Christ.”
EMAIL OF THE DAY II: “My parents were out of town for the week and I had returned from spending the weekend at a friend’s house to see in our mailbox the new issue of TIME. I did the usual flipping through that the “average” 20 year old would do. I glanced through what it had to say about Gay Marriage and then continued on my way to the back. I saw your essay, “Why the M Word Matters To Me.” I read with undivided attention and full interest. I began to tear up as I read on. I felt an immense similarity in your life to the events that I have experienced. I understand, I am young. However, I feel being gay has given me a “leg up” in terms of any and all emotional torment one can experience. When I got to the last paragraph everything seemed to freeze. I read the line where you said that you want to remember a young kid out there that’s reading this and for him to know that his love has dignity. I think after that essay I put a whole life-time of tears into tissues. I have never been so touched by anybody’s words of compassion. I truly feel that you gave me the hope and courage I need to fight on to have that beautiful day where I can say “I do” to the person that I love and am willing to spend the rest of my life with. I also believe that you gave me the honor to be able to come out to my parents, an act I have dreaded for the past 5 years.
I’ve been through institutions for depression and suicide. I’ve done my fair amount of rebellion. I also believe that I have had my heart broken at times for falling for straight guys and expecting something that would never come, I don’t want to assume but I believe that you have probably been there as well. I’m not the flaky kind that breaks under pressure very easily, I have a good record of standing my ground, so it’s a bit awkward for me to be crying while writing this to you. I can’t express how grateful I am that there is someone out there that knows what it is to be hurt and what it is to long for something. You are my courage.”
The Dish 