WHAT IS SEXY?

Eugene Volokh ruminates on what makes someone sexy. He quotes a female friend of his remarking on how women make much more of an effort to be attractive than men do:

I think it’s particularly true that most men can learn to be sexy, since women are more forgiving about looks, which are less changeable … Maybe it’s easier for women to cultivate appeal, since we’re sort of more raised with the idea of adapting ourselves, rather than just “being,” but men can do it.
But most men don’t really want to be sexy; they want sexy to be them. I don’t mean to man-bash, men are one of my favorite genders, but it’s such a waste of resources. Like you, I know tons of great women. They’re (list of all the good adjectives), and people want to be around them.
And I know a fair number of (good adjectives) single men, but [it’s generally] also clear why they’re single. They don’t listen, and won’t; they won’t get a real job; they’re boring but don’t want to acknowlege it or do anything about it. Hey, if that shirt was “in” when they were in high school, no need to see if any ads/mannequins/humans under 60 wear it today.

Much of this is true – but only for straight men. And that reveals the real source of male slovenliness: women. If women weren’t so damn forgiving of slobbiness, if they weren’t prepared to look for the diamond buried in the rough of a man’s beer-belly, men might have to shape up a little. The only reason gay men are – on the whole – better turned out than straight men is because they have to appeal to other shallow, beauty-obsessed males to get laid, find a mate, etc. The corollary, of course, are lesbians. Now there are many glamorous lesbiterians, but even the most enthusiastic Sapphic-lover will have to concede that many are not exactly, shall we say, stylish. The reason? They don’t have to be to attract other women; and since women find monogamy easier, they also slide into the I’m-married-so-what-the-hell-have-another-pretzel syndrome. When straight women really do insist on only dating hot guys, men will shape up. Until then, it’s hopeless.