A reader makes an obvious point:
In the entry about the Simpsons character that will be coming out of the closet, you forgot Principal Skinner, who appears to be the obvious (and best) choice. Principal Skinner is a well respected professional male in his mid 40s. He is single (and has never had a serious relationship that we know of), and lives at home with his mother. Like many closeted homosexuals who struggle with their sexual orientation before coming out, Principal Skinner was caught hooking up with Ms. Edna Krabappel, a divorced and desperate co-worker (anyone else’s gaydar would have instantly picked up on Skinner’s secret). Moreover, he proposed marriage to Selma, Marge’s sister, who is obviously a lesbian. His attraction to women is clearly a facade, designed to be an elaborate lie to both fool the community and perhaps even continue to deny his true sexuality.
Moreover, Principal Skinner is obsessed with his image. He sits for endless sessions where his mother sketches his silhouette, and then he tacks the images all around his house. Additionally, he is a very neat and tidy person, always looking presentable and well-kempt, attributes that straight men of his age and situation do not usually personify.
In sum, Andrew, it has becomes obvious that you ignored the most clear-cut choice when predicting which character will come out of the closet. Moreover, given his persuasion as a white, middle-aged, educated man, homosexual man, I would ask that you recommend Principal Skinner for honorary membership in the Log Cabin Republicans.
Sounds a lot like David Souter to me.
The Dish 