Here’s an email that may help explain some of the mutual incomprehension now floating around:
While I’m sure some of the anger over Kerry’s mention of Mary Cheney stems from the bigotry you’ve described, that being gay is something unmentionable, I think the other issue here is generational.
For many people of a certain age (take your pick – 45? 50? older?) they were taught that you weren’t supposed to discuss politics or religion with strangers, much less yours or their sexuality. To mention a third party’s sexuality, someone neither of you know, in a conversation when it would be unnecessary to do so, would be at best guache, and at worst obnoxious.
Like it or not, for the “old school” among us, one’s sexual identity is intensely private stuff, something only the individual and their loved ones have the right to bring up, even when “everyone” knows about it. They recoiled from Kerry’s casual mention in the same way they would recoil from a neighbor casually mentioning something intimate about another neighbor down the street in a conversational tangent.
I think this isn’t the case with many people 40 or younger, who view sexuality as more mundane and matter of fact, akin to skin color. People can come to their own judgments about which way is better, but I’ve little doubt that this gulf in perceptions about social etiquette exists.
That’s probably true. I’ve lived my entire adult life as openly gay. Maybe I’m out of touch with the way others – especially older then me – feel about the propriety of mentioning it in public. But that doesn’t mean they’re right and I’m wrong. It just means we come to the problem with vastly different experiences. And of course, I am right; and they’re wrong. But we should probably close this discussion, don’t you think?
The Dish 