As I read the letter you posted today (“One more” February 3) I decided that I, too, must tell you about the difference your writing has made in my life. I hope I’m not too late–I’ve been thinking about writing to you for over a year, but I always talked myself out of it. Today I find myself compelled to tell you my own humble story.
While I was raised in a fairly conservative family, I came of age during the ’60s. I met my husband while we were both campaigning for Eugene McCarthy for president. We were married the week of the Democratic convention in Chicago. I changed from being oblivious about politics to being a serious left-wing, anti-war, Republican-hating straight party-line Democrat. I believed every word that Noam Chomsky wrote. It was all so simple: Republicans wore black hats; Democrats wore white hats. All of my friends believed unquestioningly that peace, love, agnosticism, secularism, enlarged federal programs, and reduced military budgets would save the world form the evil American empire.
After 9/11, I reacted the same way as all my friends. I blamed America. Wasn’t it clear from history that America was an evil aggressor trying to take over the world and that, as Ward Churchill has so famously written, the “chickens were coming home to roost”? America asked for it, and we deserved what we got. It wasn’t until Paul Wellstone died that I started looking for answers.
Wellstone’s death occurred just before the Republican victory in the 2002 elections, and I was bereft at the loss of Wellstone and the sharp turn to the right nationally. I was outraged about the building discussion about war in Iraq. I made jokes (half seriously) about moving to Canada. I listened religiously to Amy Goodman’s show “Democracy Now” on the radio and would try to contain my moral outrage at the the Republican agenda. I was seriously depressed.
Then I read a column by Ariana Huffington which talked about Weblogs and explained how the blogs worked to bring down Trent Lott. In her article, she specifically mentioned the your name and the Daily Dish. I started reading your blog and following your links to other bloggers. That’s when my life started to change.
I still remember the day I read one of your articles: This is a Religious War. I sat in stunned silence. That one article was the beginning of my transformation. I started to question everything I believed. I vowed to re-educate myself. From that day forward, I started to read intelligent conservative writers to try and understand a world-view totally unlike anything I had learned in my politically correct ’60s college education. One by one, my tired old beliefs began to crumble and then to collapse. I began to understand the danger of fundamental Islamic terrorism. I learned to believe more in the what conservatives call equality of opportunity, not equality of outcomes. I began to understand the problem of long-term government entitlements. Your testimony of faith allowed me to revisit my decision to dismiss religion as simple superstition. I managed to remain something of a liberal on social issues, while moving to the right on issues like fighting terrorism and reigning in domestic government programs.
I would like to tell you this journey to a new world-view has been easy. In most ways, it has been the most difficult thing I have ever done. My close friends cut me some slack at first. Now they think I live in some parallel, crazy universe of fascist neocons. They still invite me to parties, but I keep quiet about my views. There is never any open discussion of ideas. No curiosity about why I have changed. Once I dared to say that I thougt there might be moral justification for the war in Iraq, and I was shouted down. I have left my book club which allowed only one filter for interpreting writers: ’70s leftish, hard feminist. anti-American, peacenik, bigger government, internationalism, etc. (The amazing thing to me is that members of the bookclub are not even aware that they see the world through a siingle lens. ) I teach English in a community college in the Midwest, and the atmosphere is so thick with political correctness (something I never noticed before) that sometimes it almost takes my breath away. The most difficult thing for me has been the tension in my marriage. My husband is still stuck in the ’60s, and every night he watches the news and is outraged by the power of conservatives to move America in a direction he hates. It is a constant wedge between us. I would like to say that all of this doesn’t bother me, but it is personally painful.
On the other hand, I feel more alive and engaged and excited about the world than I have for years. I have grown in knowledge and understanding beyond my wildest expectations, and I am driven to learn and understand more about history, religion, politics,geography, history, journalism, science. I feel that the great issues are worthy of open minds and fair debate. History, indeed, is not dead.
In short, I am a new person. I see the world through new eyes. Isn’t it amazing? Think about it. You changed my life.