Today happens to be my twelfth anniversary of being diagnosed with HIV. I guess it’s as good a time as any to stir up another shit-storm with an article that responds to one of the more breath-taking comments from those in the AIDS establishment. I refer to one Michael Weinstein, who told the New York Times recently, “People are in such denial about how serious HIV is. Unfortunately, the best prevention is seeing people die.” The usual suspects have said the usual outraged things about my celebration of survival with HIV and, of course, my apology for staying alive is meant only partly tongue-in-cheek. But the truth is: it’s a good thing that many more of us are thriving and living well with this disease. The problem that this creates for HIV prevention is a real one, as I’ve written many times on this blog, but it’s what my many dead friends would call a good problem to have. Money quote, once you get past my sarcasm:
We could always be thrilled that so many people are living longer and better lives with HIV. We could celebrate our reclaiming of sexuality after years of terror. We could even try new strategies for risk reduction among gay men – strategies that emphasize positive ways to care for our health rather than negative ways to scare the bejeezus out of everyone. But then we’d have no more people to scapegoat and blame, would we?
No, it’s not a good thing to have HIV. I went through hell and many others are going through awful things. But gay men are not in denial about how serious this disease is. The AIDS establishment is. It’s much less serious than it was. From being an automatic death sentence, it’s now in the diabetes spectrum, if you get tested early and treated effectively. The question is how we devise better prevention methods that acknowledge that fact rather than deny it.
EMAIL OF THE EVENING: “I just wanted to say that I read your article in The Advocate “Still here – So sorry!” and I agree with everything you say 1000%. I have been HIV+ for 23 years and have been in very good health the whole time, but like you and am about to restart a combo after being on nothing for three and a half years. There were some pretty bleak years in the late 80s and early 90s when I felt like people kept expecting me to disappear – and they were almost disappointed that I just kept rising up the corporate ladder and refused to let HIV defeat me. Of course the meds made a big difference later.
Back in 1988, the people in my support group who were busy writing wills and going on long term disability died very quickly. People like me who insisted on living a normal life – seemed to keep on trucking. But it seems like now all the powers that be care about is painting HIV as being so hopeless and horrible that it is supposed to scare people from doing naughty things and of course it all feeds into the anti-sexual morality play we seem to be seeing more and more of. No one seems to care about the feelings of people with HIV themselves who have good reason to feel hopeful. It’s almost like our existence is inconvenient.”
The Dish 