A reader finds a solution for Dick Cheney:
“I’ve figured out a way to solve this. The administration is looking for ways to “physically abuse” prisoners “without intent to to cause permanent injury or loss to vital organs.” I’ve got just the thing:
Sharpened reeds jammed underneath the fingernails. It hurts like a bitch. The nails will turn black and fall off, but they’ll eventually grow back. No permanent injury and no organ failure. In other words, it’s not torture.
Or how about sticking their head in mud for a minute at a time, letting them come up for air for a second, then plunging them back down again, over and over? Our South Vietnamese friends used to do this to captured VC. It’s like water-boarding, only more messy. No permanent injury and no organ failure, unless you mess up and you kill him by mistake. No worries, though. You didn’t *intend* to kill him. In other words, it’s not torture.
Or if you’re not that creative you can always stick with the old standby: breaking the bones in their arms and legs. No permanent injury and no organ failure. Bones eventually heal, and last time I checked bones are not organs.
In other words, it’s not torture.
Repeat after me: “we do not torture.”
The Dish 