A reader writes:
It was ironic that you started to talk about bi-national gay couples while showing a picture of Cape Town. I’m an American who went to university in Cape Town and met my South African partner there. As graduation time came for me, we became worried what we were going to do, as we had been together for over a year and were (and still are) in love. My permanent address is in Connecticut, and we thought about entering into a civil union here, but then we realized it makes no difference because the Federal government doesn’t recognize civil unions, and immigration comes under the federal domain. South Africa is much more liberal in this respect. It allows for gay and straight couples to enter into "life partnerships" for the purposes of immigration. We seriously considered that route, but then my boyfriend received a scholarship to do his graduate degree in the states, so everything has worked out … for now at least.
We will most likely end up moving back to South Africa after we both finish grad school in the states. I’ll be leaving this country for South Africa in a few years time, as a gay refugee of sorts.
I hear more and more stories like this one. Heterosexual couples would never have to contemplate such a trauma. As soon as they get married, or even engaged, the immigration doors open. But gay people do not exist as far as the federal government is concerned. A great and definitive account of how bi-national gay families increasingly have to leave America to stay intact be found here.
The Dish 