A reader writes:
I am married, a father of two, and am homosexual. I am faithful to my wife and have never taken a male lover. The only individuals that know the truth have been my confessors and a few close friends. Life has been a struggle at times, and I might have made different decisions had the opportunity presented itself. That said, I love my kids and my wife and am blessed with a good life.
Sometimes, when I read your blog, I feel as if you would consider me a hypocrite. There is such arrogance in the gay community, and sometimes I sense that you feel morally superior at least to those who have not chosen the open path you did. I could be wrong. That said, I support your vision for the gay community, and I appreciate your blog for shedding greater light on these issues. My children fortunately won’t have to experience the shame that I was forced to endure as a young man bearing this dreaded secret. I don’t merely teach my girls compassion, but acceptance, and in time, I will tell them about my own personal journey. I feel no need to hide it anymore, although I realize that there are dangers to my openness. Sometimes it seems that society can accept either gay or straight but they can’t handle the graduated middle. We are hated by both sides.
I can only hope that one day, there is neither jew nor greek, slave nor free, gay nor straight, that the Church will come to understand the true complexities of human sexuality and foster genuine and moral ways to live out one’s life authentically. Soldier on.
I hope the church hierarchy will one day see this as well. It can be so afraid at times. The actual church – the people of faith – have already moved forward on this. As for the notion that I regard the closet as something to which I am morally superior, I really don’t. One reason I have long opposed outing is that I don’t thnk it’s possible to know the full internal conscience of another human being, and the judgment he or she has made. Life is complicated. Only God knows. Who are we to judge? The point of the gay rights movement, to my mind, is not to promote the concept of being gay, but to enhance the possibilities for all people to be truly themselves. In the end, who you are is so much more than sexual orientation; but it cannot exclude such an orientation, of whatever kind, if it is to describe us adequately.
The Dish 