This is pretty hard to beat:
"I don’t have sex with my monkey. That’s absolute crap. Why would I do that? I gave him an audiotape, but it didn’t have anything like that on it. It said, ‘I’m coming home, I’m coming to get you. Daddy’s coming, he’s coming to get you.’"
Daddy’s coming, Bonzo. Daddy’s coming. (Hat tip: Rod).
The Dish 