The Debate – by G&S

A reader with too much time on his hands writes:

Here’s my analysis of the Democratic debate last night – in the style of a Gilbert and Sullivan opera.

[frantic music] C1: She won!
C2: Which one?!
C1: The woman actually won.
C2: Which one?
C1: This one
C2: That woman actually won?

C1: She won!
C2: She won!
Together: By gum, she really won.
C2: How did she fare?
C1: She seemed prepared
C2: How did she speak?
C1: Without a squeak!
Together: By gum, she really won.

[slower]

C2: And what about that guy, Barack?
C1: He and Edwards both attacked.

[C1 draws a sword]

C2: And did they strike a fatal blow?
C1: If they did, it didn’t show.

[C1 puts his sword away]

C2: And what about Bill Richardson?
C1: He’s Hispanic, who will vote for him?

[pause…thinking…frantic music again]

C2: You’re right!
C1: She’s left!
C2: I really think you’re right
C1: She won!
C2: That one…
C1: Is almost half woman!

[joining hands]

C2: And now we know
C1: Who won the show
C2: It’s not the men
C1: We thought would win.
Together: By gum, she really won!

[Close, applause, And I will now go do something meaningful with my life]

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