Month: November 2008

A reader writes:

The speeches were heartbreaking today. One guy just left his brother newly diagnosed with cancer and a father diagnosed with a terminal heart condition and moved here. Why? Because his non US partner was not allowed to stay in the US with him. So they chose to move to Canada to be with each other. As for me and my partner, we are one of the 18,000 couples who recently married in California. As we are both US citizens, unlike many of our friends, we can live together in the US. However, until the day comes when we have equal civil rights as our straight neighbors, thanks but no thanks. Canada is now our new home. I cannot tell you how good it feels to have equal civil rights under the law.  It is more profound than I had ever expected or can explain in a few short words.

This sums a lot of it up:

A week ago I wrote you just to vent and  express my sadness about the ban on gay marriage … but today after attending our rally in South Beach, I won’t be any more. I am not sad nor do I want to be angry any more. I just want to do what needs to be done.

Fired up. Ready to go.

Know Hope. These things take time. But we have changed consciousness and we have begun finally to tackle the last remaining obstacle. Not our opponent’s misplaced fear and misguided panic. But our own lack of fire, our own capitulation to the forces that would eclipse and marginalize and demean us.

When every gay person and every friend or family member of a gay person really, truly believes that the staus quo is unacceptable, we will win. Today, I think we reached a tipping point. Now our task is to find a way to channel that conviction more aggressively, with more focus and professionalism. We will. And the next generation will lead the way.

(Photo: around 3 pm in Washington DC, today, as the protest made its way to Lafayette Square.)

A reader writes:

Well over 1,000 people rallied outside the Las Vegas GLBT Community Center this afternoon and then lined Sahara Avenue with cheers and banners. The biggest news out of the event was that Wanda Sykes, the comic, came out publicly for the first time. Her bottom line: "I’m proud to be a woman, I’m proud to be a black woman and I’m proud to be gay."

A reader writes:

We met at the north end of downtown on a grey but very pleasant late morning, warm for this time of year. The crowd was hundred and fifty or two hundred strong and cheerfully disorganized. There ware at least a dozen dogs. It wasn’t clear if anyone was running the thing, though somebody had made up a variety of hand-lettered signs. My favorite was "I’m a little bit country, you’re a little bit fascist." We marched uneventfully to the courthouse then stood around on the lawn for a while, everybody drinking coffee in their Polarfleece and chatting with their neighbors while brandishing our signs. Passers-by on Broadway were honking their horns & giving us the thumbs-up.

It was a day which made me feel good about our town & optimistic for our future, gay & straight.

A reader writes:

With less than 24 hours notice that a rally was being held in Greenville, SC about 40 of us gathered in front of City Hall to let others know we support equal marriage for all persons.  As this is the center of the Bible Belt, we were unsure of what reaction we would receive from passing motorists and pedestrians.  What a pleasant surprise, the only fingers displayed to us were in the shape of a V.  Horns honked, people shouted support and a few folks even joined us to lend their support.  The crowd itself ranged from those in their 20’s through to a couple in their late 50’s.  A huge surprise and confidence booster is the fact that 10-15 of those in attendance were heterosexual… they came to show their support.  While we would like to think the message of equal marriage is a civil rights issue, and an issue of equality came through loud and clear, the 6 p.m. news made sure to counter our actions with comments from others letting us know to them it is all about religion and God.

It was a blessed, peaceful event – what more could we ask for?

There’s a vast selection of photos from around the country, with new ones added all the time, here.

A reader writes:

  "Marriage means something," said one of the speakers.  This speaker then told of the sudden death of his partner of thirty-four years. They had a trust; they had papers of all kinds; they had planned and prepared for every contingency – except for a lack of respect and regard for their 34 year commitment to each other.  The funeral home insisted they could not cremate this man on the word of his partner of three plus decades; they needed an OK from a family member.  No document, however legal, mattered on that loss and shock filled day after the unexpected death of this speaker’s partner of 34 years – thirty-four years.

Think about that when you next hear that contracts and papers are enough and marriage isn’t sacred or right for these people.

We are so often told by opponents of marriage equality that they do not oppose our right to have basic legal protections. What they do not understand, because they have never had to understand, is that without legal marriage, gay couples are always subject to the veto of family members who have more say over our spouses under the law than we do.

I remember a story told me during the AIDS epidemic. A man was visiting a friend dying in hospital. It was a grim scene, as it often was in those days. The next bed in the ward had a curtain drawn around it. And from behind that curtain, you could hear someone quietly singing. The man told his friend, "Well, at least that dude is keeping his spirits up, however sick he is." And the friend replied:

"Oh, that’s not the patient singing. He died this morning. And his family came to collect the body. That voice you hear is the man’s partner. The family didn’t approve of his relationship and they have barred him from coming to the funeral and kicked him out of their shared home. That song he’s singing is the song they called their own. It was playing when they met. He used to sing it to him all the time when he was dying."

"He’s still singing it even though they’ve taken the body away. He’s singing it to an empty bed. I guess it’s the last time he feels he’ll ever be close to the man he loved. They were together twenty years. The hospital staff don’t have the heart to ask him to leave yet."

Until you have been treated as sub-human, it’s hard to appreciate how it feels. We will not give up. And we will win in part for the sake of those who never made it to see this day.

This is what my faith teaches me, whatever the Vatican insists. Our love really is stronger than their fear.

A reader writes:

My husband and I went to the rally in Long Beach.  Many of the organizers where from local affirming churches.  They spoke about the need to not blame all Mormons or all gays. It was about the need to treat others like we want to be treated and by doing so we will change minds one by one.  That’s a true Christian message, and it’s powerful.

There will be a campaign by the Christianists to define and describe the reaction to having our families attacked and marriages voided as bigoted, angry, vicious and the like. A few incidents will be used by the usual suspects – O’Reilly, Hannity, Beck, Kristol, Drudge, Fox, The Weekly Standard, National Review, FRC et al. – to tarnish the thousands who showed up today as nasty people hostile to religious freedom. Watch them also try to use code-words about children to stir up fear. There’s nothing we can do about this kind of thing, except show that the overwhelming sentiment from today was positive. Yes, we’re angry. If all Mormons were told today that the majority had removed their civil right to marry, they’d be angry too.

But this was a day when anger was channeled into confidence and strength and love. That’s been the tone of all of the hundreds of emails I’ve gotten today. It’s the tone of the next generation. And they have reached the mountain top. They will not be stopped from reaching the promised land.

A reader writes:

Here in Grand Forks, ND, about 75 protesters gathered in from of the City Hall and then marched to the Town Square. The turnout was thrilling, but more encouraging were the passersby. College-aged men in pickup trucks pumping fists and flashing peace signs. Women reaching over from passenger seats and honking their husbands’ horns. Elderly folks smiling and waving. Not a single person yelled anything out of a car window. Come to think of it, I only saw one middle finger the whole day!

I’m a politically active 25 year-old law student, and I really do think–at least it feels like–this is our generation’s Stonewall.

When Stonewalls are happening in North Dakota, it’s more than Stonewall. It’s the Awakening. The Mormon campaign to void our civil marriages woke us up. Thanks, LDS! Sometimes, you have to see the bigotry in front of you before you realize you have to overcome it.