A reader writes:
I've been reading through the live-blogging of the Prop. 8 trial and this caught my eye:
"Married couples live healthier, less likely to engage in dangerous behavior, less likely to smoke, less likely to drink in excess."
In every respect, this has proven to be true with both myself and my partner. When I met him several years ago, I was addicted to meth. He did what he had to do to break the addiction: we packed up, lived hand-to-hand on savings, and labored on the road for a while before settling in another city. And with effort, with patience, and with love, we are leaving that far behind (breaking an addiction is always an ongoing process). And for all of this, even if I weren't in love with him, I would be eternally grateful.
Meanwhile, since living with me, he has quit smoking, and both of us are drinking less.
Instead of drinking at a bar and driving home intoxicated, we have friends over to dinner and watch a movie. We've bought a house, have careers instead of moving from job to job, and have generally become stable and productive members of the community, no longer leading fast, hard, and dangerous lives.
These are the fruits of our marriage (which is exactly what it is, regardless of what the state says). This is what social conservatives seek to deny me. They would rather see me lying in a gutter, addicted to meth, and dying of HIV than a happy, healthy, productive member of society. Because, in their minds, gay men by definition cannot be happy, healthy or productive. I must be miserable and pitiable for my "sin."
And yet real conservatives – those who see the importance of marriage for social stability and are not motivated by fear or bigotry – should be the ones most adamant about marriage for gay men in particular. It is only if you see gay men as aliens to be ignored or cured that you can see marriage equality as a threat to society. Indeed it is only if you see gay people as inherently outside society that you can deny them the benefits of an institution that can literally save their lives and buttress their health.
The Dish 