Month: December 2010

by Zoë Pollock

Just in time for the holidays, Brene Brown ruminates on the role of shame and personal worth in human connection:

by Conor Friedersdorf

It didn't go well for this woman:

Claire Hirschkind, 56, who says she is a rape victim and who has a pacemaker-type device implanted in her chest, says her constitutional rights were violated.  She says she never broke any laws.  But the Transportation Security Administration disagrees.

Hirschkind said because of the device in her body, she was led to a female TSA employee and three Austin police officers.  She says she was told she was going to be patted down. "I turned to the police officer and said, 'I have given no due cause to give up my constitutional rights.  You can wand me,'" and they said, 'No, you have to do this,'" she said.

Hirschkind agreed to the pat down, but on one condition. "I told them, 'No, I'm not going to have my breasts felt,' and she said, 'Yes, you are,'" said Hirschkind. When Hirschkind refused, she says that "the police actually pushed me to the floor, (and) handcuffed me.  I was crying by then.  They drug me 25 yards across the floor in front of the whole security."

Perhaps we should choose a different system of airport security.

by Chris Bodenner

Cartoonist Matthew Inman provides 11 more revelations.

By Conor Friedersdorf

This should be republished every year, right?

Dear Editor,

I am 8 years old.

Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth: Is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon
115 W. 95th St.

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except (what) they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

by Conor Friedersdorf

"We sing traditional songs, look at shimmering varicolored lights, eat delicious food, and visit old friends. If we can avoid being sentimental consumerists as we do this, so much the better, but let’s not be misanthropes. The season is filled with delights, and it’s nice that some Christmas traditions have been secularized enough that non-Christians can enjoy them too. Even if gratitude for the savior’s incarnation is limited to Christians, the festive spirit is good for all of us," -  William Brafford.

A woman walks with her shopping past a yawning child in the 'One New Change' shopping centre near St Paul's Cathedral in London, England on December 23, 2010. Retailers have experienced a last minute surge in shoppers as the the freezing weather begins to release its grip across the country. By Dan Kitwood/Getty Images.

A Los Angeles detective recounts the tale of Preston Tingle, a watchful troll living under a bridge around Christmas time. Tingle wanted to report on train burglars but was instead subjected to a media blitz and destroyed by Christmas charity and cheer:

We drove him back to the bridge and when we wished him a Merry Christmas and asked if he was going to take the job at the movie studio, he rooted in his ears and nose, scratched his lower body front and rear (encased in brand new Sears khakis), climbed his rope ladder and announced, "This is all a gud-damn sham!" 
 

By Christmas Day, Preston Tingle felt obliged to escape all the do-gooders, well wishers and looky-loos who kept lavishing gifts and food and job offers on him. He left his home under the Fourth Street Bridge and that was the last we ever saw of him.

by Conor Friedersdorf

Although I work in the media, I don't always understand it. For example, this is the first I've heard of Americans being held in Iran:

On July 31, 2009, Sarah Shourd, Shane Bauer and Josh Fattal—three friends from U.C. Berkeley—were hiking in Iraqi Kurdistan. Tehran claims the three knowingly and illegally crossed into Iran that day, and that they were U.S. spies. The hikers, not to mention President Obama, have flatly denied allegations of espionage. And the three have claimed that they were nabbed by Iranian guards who crossed over the Iraqi border to arrest them—claims corroborated by a classified American military field report released in the latest WikiLeaks dump.

Even the man who interrogated Ms. Shourd in prison doesn't seem to believe that the three did anything wrong. During her second month in captivity, Ms. Shourd recalls her interrogator saying: "It may not really matter if you're innocent or not, because this has become political." Ms. Shourd, 32, was released on September 14 on $500,000 bail after 410 days in solitary confinement. But Mr. Fattal and Mr. Bauer, both of whom marked their 28th birthday in the cell they share, remain behind bars.

Here's hoping they're released soon.

by Chris Bodenner

A reader writes:

I always remember years ago when a very racist uncle from Jacksonville, Florida was visiting my sister and her family.  He started using the "N" word and my 6-year-old nephew turned to him and said, "We don't use that word in this house".   The uncle never said another racist remark.   It was wonderful to see a child slap down an old bigot.

Another writes:

I'm curious as to how readers deal with homophobic relatives. My partner is from Indiana and his immediate family is very supportive and gay friendly, but his more distant relatives are a complete question mark. I am dreading meeting his father's cousin's family for Christmas. My partner is apprehensive as well, since in his words they are "complete hicks." There is no way I'm going as his "friend" this time. We are way passed that in our relationship.

I know I am pre-judging them, and everything could go completely fine. It could be a chance to show them that gays are just regular people too. Or, after several whiskey cokes, someone drops the gay f-bomb and my beefy partner ends up shouting in someone's face.

Another:

This series is giving me a smile. For years, the usual tradition was that we would spend Xmas Eve at our parents house with mostly my mother's side of the family. Xmas Day was spent with cousins/aunts/uncles from my father's side. A recent development over the past decade or so was that my father's side has become increasingly right-wing.

For the most part they're uneducated, and it started slowly with some born-again-conversions popping up, and some recent deaths have led to some turning hard to fundamental religiousity. And there's been some rightward movement overall. For example, at an event this past year, a cousin's husband pulled me aside and extolled the virtues of Carl Paladino (the family is in Western NY) and how I really need to look into joining the local Republican committees where I live (the Philadelphia area).

It's become increasingly difficult for me and my immediate family to deal with that side of the family, even for that one day I see them, and I've generally tried to keep the conversations as vanilla as possible. My brother-in-law has a particular tough time – he's Jewish, and there is that fundamentalist antisemitism lurking beneath the surface (they killed Jesus, you know) that has never quite been completely expressed, but it's enough that he gets uncomfortable – especially when some of them decide to join hands for a rather lengthy and sometimes graphic prayer.

I especially feel for my gay cousin. He came out a number of years ago and currently lives in San Francisco with his partner, but for most of his life he was the pride of that side of the family – intelligent, well-schooled, helpful, talented; everyone doted on him. His immediate family, whose views aren't the same as the rest of that side, fully accepts him.

Anyways, a remarkable thing happened last year. After the food was set out and people were eating, I happened to notice that I, the progressive atheist, was seated at a table with my wife, an agnostic raised without any religion at all, my Jewish brother-in-law (from SF himself, no less), my sister (who married the Jewish kid and is raising her children Jewish), my gay cousin and his partner who was meeting the family for the first time, and we were all engaged in random conversations.

There was a seat open and the husband of one of my cousins sat down. Don't know too much about him except that he's a fundamentalist born-again and he married my cousin fairly quickly after her divorce. He sat down with his plate, looked up and out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he looked around the table at who else was sitting there. He quickly turned back to his plate, downed the contents about as quickly possible and left. Granted, I'm probably assuming a lot about what went through his head, but I did enjoy it, because, for the first time in years, at that table and in that room, we had a majority and wouldn't have to deal with the usual hateful garbage that usually comes out.

I'm not sure if we'll have that majority to back each other up again and make things a little easier this year, and despite the fact that I really do love my family and want to see some cousins, aunts and uncles, I still am really not looking forward to going this year. Given the election, I'm expecting more than the usual Fox News talking points about Obama, and heck, maybe someone gets bold and reveals some birtherist tendencies, which would be amusing, but more than anything else, as much as I love confronting, debating and challenging, at this point, it's just a waste of time, and most of them are lost causes, and I'd rather just spend what little time I have in town seeing friends and the family from whom I don't hear racist, hate-filled bile.

Sorry for the lengthy email, but just figured I'd share as I kill time at work before I leave a little early. Hope everyone at the Dish has a Happy Holiday season, and a Merry Christmas to you, Andrew,  and I'll probably keep checking in here and there over my break.

by Chris Bodenner

Seems plausible: