A reader writes:
I resent the notion put forth by your reader that I can't "be truly part of any culture from the inside." The beauty of America is that we are still relatively new as a country so that "culture" is still a bit amorphous. And we are so big that culture differs everywhere. In a community full of transplants, like Los Angeles, culture is what we make of it. I fit in anywhere and everywhere. I don't have to seek out other white, upper-middle-class Jews to hang out with to find some sort of identity. I'm the only Anglo in my place of employment (the others are Latino or Asian), but I've lived in LA for 34 years and feel like a part of this place, no matter that my roots aren't from birth.
Another writes:
To your insightful reader who managed to quote both Ms. Flannery O'Connor and Mr. Alasdair Macintyre in two paragraphs, I have to humbly suggest that he missed the point of the original TCK letter.
The reader said, "Travel the world and try to transcend your culture all you want, but you won't ever succeed. Not really." But a child growing up as a TCK makes no concerted effort to transcend anything – he just gambols through childhood like any other kid. The difference is that because of his parents, the childhood is spent in a constant state of exploration, investigation, adventure, and awkwardness. This experience often does result in a person described in the original TCK letter. Even the term itself suggests not an elevation over the mother culture, but a hybrid – a way of being American while also being immersed in other cultures. "Transcendence" suggests a lofty, haughty air. I suggest, rather, that growing up a TCK has very much rooted me in a world where culture isn't always a binary choice; it's not always one or the other.
And, to the rest of reader's reply, one shouldn't doubt the American-ness of American TCKs. It's true, I didn't always eat turkey on Thanksgiving nor did I always light firecrackers on Independence Day. But growing up overseas, I was often reminded by natives that I was American – that I'd never roll my Rs or that I'd never master chopsticks. I doubt the reader growing up in Middle America had to defend, explain, or represent America on a daily basis.
Another:
As for the O'Connor quote, a "tour of Europe" hardly compares to the experience of Third Culture Kids. A vacation in Europe means going to tourist spots, eating funny food, and maybe playing with the local kids for a few hours at the pool before you crash at the hotel. But TCKs plunge into school and friendships without a net; I mean, imagine going into a corner store with your new friends and being faced with a rack of candy…. and you don't recognize anything. And it's all in Vietnamese anyway, so you can't even read a wrapper to pick something, so you end up jumping in headfirst and just guessing, again and again and again. And when you're stripped of brands and culture and language, you know what you use as guideposts? Human behaviour. Which is what O'Connor was studying from her front porch in the first place.
But your reader's note was also disorienting in another way: what is with this implication that people who have lived in the US for their entire lives are somehow better, or more patriotic than the rest of us?! Your reader writes: "That's not a fate that I or many so-called Middle Americans want. Believe it or not, we actually love this country." Seriously, what? TCKs love America too; that's why we live here, as opposed to the other countries we've visited at length.
Another:
The game of "Who sees the world more broadly?" is a silly one to play. And also dangerous in these times when what we really need are shrewd leaders who are so intimately familiar enough with American politics and culture that they not only see the breadth of our problems, but also their depth.
Sorry, I respect the reader's pride and appreciation for their heritage, but this is plain wrong. I spent the first 20-something years of my life growing up in Texas and living the classic middle American lifestyle. I've spent most of the last four years living abroad on four different continents and now speak three different languages. I've been to 33 countries in all. I can honestly say that I have transcended my American cultural, but also that I have not lost it. In fact, I feel more proud of it than ever, not because I've seen more NFL games and eaten more blueberry pies on a porch than before, but because I've taken a step back and with clear-eyes and an inquiring brain actually looked at what we do, what we say and what we stand for in a much greater context than what the local gas prices are this week.
When children grow up in a family, they always assume what their family does is normal, and it's not until they leave the home and meet other people and experience other families that they begin to get an idea of what's normal and what was actually dysfunctional. But discovering that dysfunction doesn't remove you from your family, in fact it often brings out your loyalty and dedication in new ways. It allows you to reconnect with your parents and siblings in ways you didn't know possible before.
The Dish 