A reader writes:
I was watching Bill Maher continue to make fun of Anthony Weiner on "Real Time" last Friday, and his "new rules" were essentially poking fun at people who do cybersex or phone sex. Pathetic? Maybe. Easy targets for comedians? No doubt. But Maher went on to say how much he preferred having a real person to have sex with, to which I had two immediate responses: one, "duh", and two: "You know, asshole, not all of us are wealthy celebrities who can have sex pretty much on demand."
I'm 49, short, overweight, and while I'm not necessarily ugly, I'm far from drop-dead gorgeous. Worse, I'm broke, which you may be aware will overcome nearly every physical or emotional shortcoming. My wife, whom I loved more than anything else, died five years ago, and we shared a wonderful and passionate sex life. Now, I'm often depressed and always lonely, and I'm not a social person.
The obstacles to me having any kind of physical relationship with someone are nearly insurmountable. Even under the best of circumstances, it takes a lot of time and effort. So when I get horny, as I still do, being human, I'm pretty much shit out of luck. (And before you say it, no: even if I could afford one, I'm not going to seek out a hooker. Last thing I need is to get arrested.)
The online society is the best way I have of reaching out to people. In chat rooms my personality shows up much more positively than it would out in public, where I'm self-conscious and feel intimidated by stronger personalities. Sometimes I get to talk to someone on the phone or via Skype, but even that's pretty rare, as many people guard their identities pretty strongly. Me, I try to be the same person online than I am in person, or would be if I was as comfortable in a crowd as I am in the chatroom.
Would I prefer to have someone who I could fuck and get a blowjob from once in a while? Sure I would. Do I feel ashamed that I go online to look for people rather than go out and meet them face-to-face? Sometimes. But regardless of what Weiner did, I don't feel like I should be ridiculed for what I do.
The Dish 