A reader writes:
I read with delight your voicemail from your cleaning lady. Just recently, my step-dad, a lovable man with a deep, mumbly voice, left a message on my step-sister's machine. This is how her visual voice mail transcribed it (her name is Kristin):
Hey Christine this is your dad. I see you called earlier. I had my phone on my pocket. I that working around the house and I just have it on the vibrate Center sausage. Alright. Love you. Hope everything's going well. Bye.
Another writes:
We have a similar transcript program where I work. Unlike yours, it does not need someone with an accent to produce some amusing results. From a clear-speaking co-worker:
Hi it's in a cab clean and I are both trapped up the bike both ends case or with no rain here. Pouring out you feel like rescuing up if you do give me a call let me know if you see on bro I looked in my office.
I'm sure your readers have plenty of "gold" to contribute.
Surprisingly we couldn't find any examples on YouTube. Another:
I'm afraid it's not just your housekeeper's accent that is too much for Vonage; everything's too much for Vonage Visual Voicemail. I have been updating my Facebook status with the hilarious transcriptions for a year now. The funniest are usually from Blockbuster, so I often go a month or two without paying Blockbuster just because it's funny. Here's the most recent:
I'm calling playing and Terry with a message regarding your local Blockbuster account, five or they come we got sickles with you then okay the black busted a good visiting to went that. Please call us at 1-800-605-5415 and use the following reference code, one, two, 00. Number again is 1-800-605-5415 and the reference code is 1200. Thank you for your attention to this matter we look forward to hearing from you.
Another:
Just had something that I thought you might enjoy based on your Vonage Transcript Heaven post. The comedian Paul F. Tompkins started a podcast last year called "The Pod F. Tompkast", and the first episode featured an excerpt of a segment from his live variety show called "Google Voice Transcripts". The whole thing is basically Tompkins reading google voice transcripts of his voicemails over gentle piano music. The bit culminates in Tompkins inviting Tim Meadows onstage to read Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I Have A Dream" speech after it's been fed through Google Voice. The relevant segment starts eleven minutes into the podcast (though the whole podcast is fantastically absurd), here is the link. Hope you enjoy!
The Dish 