Bryan Caplan presents the "Rotten Spouse Theorem":
Even after a bitter divorce, people often pay their ex a compliment: "He was a bad husband, but he's always been a good father" or "She was a bad wife, but she's always been a good mother." Gracious, yes. But accurate? Hard to see how. A family isn't a set of independent relationships. They're all connected. Damaging one foreseeably damages the other.
This is particularly obvious when parents fight in front of their children. When your children hear you yell at your wife, you don't just hurt her feelings. You hurt their feelings. Thoughtful parents often respond with a "not in front of the children" pact. It's a good idea, but changes nothing fundamental. If you make decisions that hurt your spouse, you have to expect your children to suffer, too – even if they never connect the dots. … [P]robabilistically, you have to expect your family members' pain to move in unison. Think general equilibrium: The way you treat your spouse ripples out to your children.
The Dish 