A reader writes:
Thank you for airing both sides of this issue. It's frustrating that many women's interests writers are so afraid to lose ground on the fact that "blame the victim" is reprehensible (which is obviously true) and engrained in society (also true) that they shut down any discussion about teaching young women individual agency when it comes to protecting themselves from violence. Their tactic places a priority on messaging over good decision-making; it's more important to be "right about rape" than it is important to prevent rape.
It's a luxury to think that way. Life on earth owes no one safety; it's up to ourselves and our communities to create safety – both by stopping violent criminals and by protecting victims. Teaching young girls to stay out of bad situations is not equivocal with teaching young girls that it's "their own damn fault" if they're victimized. Both can co-exist! When I have a daughter, if I've raised her right, I'm confident she'll be able to get her head around that.
Another writes:
I think the people who are upset over the ad are losing sight of whom the ad is talking to. Whatever the perceived implications, the ad is not talking to the rapist, and the ad is not talking to girls who would be victims. The ad is talking to girl's friends. We're accustomed to "friends don't let friends drive drunk"; this ad is, in my opinion, a positive message, saying something along the lines of, "keep an eye on your drunk friends."
And who hasn't realized at some point that this is necessary? Of course rape is never the victim's fault, and a drunk girl shouldn't have to worry that any given guy is going to rape her. But the fact is that alcohol is at work impairing judgment long before the moment of truth. Maybe a woman decides to pay attention to a guy that, were she sober, she would realize was a creep. Or maybe despite the creep vibe, impaired judgment makes her to shrug it off and keep talking – something she wouldn't do if she were sober. And THAT leads her into a dangerous situation. This is where friends can help, and I think it's good to remind people of that.
Another steps back:
Something I’ve always been confused by: When it comes to date rape, it seems to me both the left and the right are totally inconsistent. Why is it that the left is comfortable discussing context for political violence but not for sexual violence? Why is it that the right is comfortable discussing context for sexual violence but not for political violence?
People on the left are more than open to discussing how American Foreign Policy influenced the terrorist attacks on 9/11. I don’t think any serious person thinks they’re taking the blame off the shoulders of the attackers. These discussions don’t make the attacks less heinous or cruel, but they are part of the broader thought process.
Those on the right seem comfortable offering context for violence against women. Yes, they suggest that it’s not a great idea for a young female to get completely trashed in a seedy bar with a man she’s never met before without telling her friends where she is. Why do their detractors interpret this as blaming the young woman for her rape?
The Dish 