Month: May 2012

Both disorienting and captivating:

The stock didn't pop very much. Daniel Gross looks beyond the ticker tape:

Like the network on which it was built, and the other networks that preceded it, Facebook is a system that encourages other people to do business in new ways. Which means its value goes far beyond the momentary value the stock market places on it on any given day — whether it is $150 billion, or $50 billion, or $20 billion. When analysts focus on the advertising dollars Facebook reaps, they're looking at the wrong metric.

Rather, it's more interesting to look at how many companies are building brands inside Facebook without advertising. It's useful to look at the valuation of other companies that have built businesses in the system that Facebook has created, like Zynga. And it's impossible — but still vital — to try to guesstimate the utility that millions of consumers gain from being able to share information, connect, and market themselves and their products for free.

The thread takes off:

Thanks for your "medications" and the price of the new medications are soaring). Had I known of the costs beforehand, it would have probably given us pause or even dissuaded us from getting our Dolly, but the treasure of her companionship and devotion and love certainly outweighs all of those things which if considered alone are daunting.

As I write this, my Dolly (I ended up keeping her after my relationship dissolved) is soon turning two and in excellent health. I do worry at times what I'd do if something like a terrible injury or illness overcomes her, but then she looks at me with her big brown eyes and gives me a sloppy kiss and I kick that can down the road. As to the E-Collar – you really can't get more Elizabethan than a Corgi wearing one, so I've included this great photo from when my former partner picked her up after her spaying. The look is adorable, pathetic, and priceless all at once.

Another writes:

Your post was timely.  We just spent over $2000 on dental work for two small terriers earlier this week. 

The four-year old had 12 teeth extracted and I can tell that he's already feeling much better.  It cannot feel good to have that many rotten teeth, not to mention the horrible halitosis.  We are fortunate that we can afford the cost.  Now we're struggling with attempting to brush his teeth to preserve the remaining 30 or so – he darts under the bed at first sight of the brush and don't even think about getting it into his mouth.  (I've heard that Martha Stewart brushes her cat's teeth … I truly hate her.)

Another:

A month or so after I took in a cat, my coworker's girlfriend cat-sat for me during a business trip.  She did this as a side job, so she had a questionnaire ready to be filled out.  One of the questions was "How much am I allowed to spend in the event of an emergency?"  I told her around $125-150.  She put on a very serious look and asked if I was sure about that low number.  My only response was "I am not missing a car or house payment because of a pet I've had all of a month or two."  We discussed it a little bit more, and she said it was a conflict she had with her boyfriend, too. 

I've had that cat about eight years now, and might go up to $400 or so, but if the cat gets A Dreadful Disease and will need more help than that, I will do what is necessary to make sure I still have a house for my other pets (and me).  It might also cost $30 for a bottle of booze to help fix me after making that decision, but as wonderful as pets are and as much as I baby them, I cannot bring myself to break the bank for one.

Another:

At present we have three dogs and four cats, with the cat total at low census from our previous high of 10. Some of our animals have had typical age-related conditions but have generally lived long, healthy lives. Last year however, one of the cats was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer that ultimately cost well over $5000 to treat. We never added up the entire cost, thinking we did not even want to know. After a couple surgeries and chemo we lost him to the disease.  

We have had conversations since about whether we should give ourselves some kind of guideline as to what our upper limit for medical costs would be if we find ourselves with another animal that needs extensive vet care. We have never come up with a number that is the "do not spend more than this" line we will not cross, but your post brings me back to those thoughts.

By the way, we recently found inflatable collars when one of the dogs was spayed. It worked great until she chewed in to pieces.  I recommend you try one for your dog  - maybe she will be a little more comfortable if she can see where she is going and can eat and sleep in more natural positions.

A reader provides the flipside experience of this post:

There are so many of these straight spouses of closeted gays out there still and they are the very real, and often ignored, collateral damage of anti-gay rights campaigns.  I was one of them once – a closeted lesbian married to a man. I'm not sure I'll ever completely let go of the shame I have about marrying someone while I knew stuffed way deep down, but could not accept, that I am a lesbian. Did I love him? I did. Passionately, though fleetingly. We too lasted 10 years before neither of us could take the distance my secret knowledge created between us.

To your reader and her own heartache and her regret of "not being the one he could trust with the truth of his life." Please try and let that regret go. He could not trust himself with the truth of his life. Why in the world would you hold yourself to an even higher standard of truth than he could even give to himself?

Another writes:

I haven't been following the Dish like I'd prefer as I've ended my last semester of seminary, but I caught your post and the commentary at the end: "One of the great threats to successful marriage in this country is the way in which fundamentalism and homophobia coax gay people into straight relationships which are, at root, based on a lie." That struck a chord with me.  When I got to college and started sleeping around with guys, I still saw myself middle-aged and married to a woman with children. I was living and knowing one thing, but my fundamentalism and internalized homophobia made me plan to keep living a lie. Guys I hooked up were planning weddings sometimes. At least one of those has ended in a divorce. My experience of the ex-gay garbage was far more threatening to a potential marriage to a woman than my ability to marry my fiance.

Ask Eli Anything

In case you don't know Eli Lake:

[He] is the national security correspondent for the Daily Beast and Newsweek Magazine and a frequent contributor to the Bloggingheads.tv. He was previously a national security reporter at the New York Sun and the State Department correspondent for the UPI. He is also a contributing editor for The New Republic. In addition to his journalistic endeavours, Lake is an accomplished amateur rapper, focusing on old school jams. His specialty is improvisations which incorporate the political news of the day. Lake's rapping has been referenced on Talking Points Memo and he has collaborated with blogger Spencer Ackerman on some online rap projects.

Eli recently faced off with Spencer over Beltway culture. You know the drill by now: enter a question into the field at the top of the Urtak poll (ignore the "YES or NO question" aspect and simply enter any open-ended question). We primed the poll with questions you can vote on right away – click "Yes" if you are interested in seeing Eli answer the question or "No" if you don't particularly care. We will air his responses soon.

"My hope would be we reach a grand compromise. But the vote in the House proves what I said in the book. You had a vote in the House on a plan that could solve our problems and the Democrats didn’t vote for it because it touches Social Security and Republicans vote against it because of revenues. Both sides accentuated their differences rather than sending a signal to the international community that we could get together and cut $4.5 trillion over the next 10 years. Which raises the question: Why are they here? If you’re here just to get reelected, you’re worthless to the country," – Sen. Tom Coburn, in a must-read interview with Ezra Klein.

It's rare to read such candid and intelligent back-and-forth on the big debt issue, which is why I recommend it. And Coburn hasn't given up on Obama either:

If President Obama is president again, those problems are still there and we have to solve them. He knows that. We’ve had conversations where he’s told me he’ll go much further than anyone believes he’ll go to solve the entitlement problem if he can get the compromise. And I believe him. I believe he would.

That's my hope too. Obama needs to recapitalize on his 2008 victory. Then go big.

His favorables have moved upwards, though "he still rates as one of the least positively viewed presidential candidates at a similar point in the campaign":

Kornacki explains why this matters:

What this means is that Romney is close to becoming what he’s always aspired to be in this race: The generic opposition party candidate, with popularity neither significantly higher nor lower than it should be.

Harry Enten thinks Obama should be worried:

Approvals are not linked perfectly with general election results. If Romney's favorables, for whatever reason, stop improving, then Obama's approvals could probably just stay where they are – and the president's re-election prospects would still be competitive. That said, I'd be queasy if I were in the White House.

Maryland's highest court unanimously rules that civil marriage licenses issued legally to gay couples in other states will be recognized by the state, under the principle of comity. So DC marriages would count.

A riveting moment in the Australian debate on marriage equality. It's on a political talk show, and features a minister in the Australian cabinet, Penny Wong, debating with Joe Hockey of the opposition liberals:

Polling in Australia currently indicates that more than 60 percent of Australians favor marriage equality – but the prospect of a new law seems remote. Wong, by the way, is a practising Christian. And among younger Australians, support for marriage equality is at 81 percent.

A reader writes:

I am a Latina, born in the states. I have very moderate views regarding economic issues and very liberal views regarding social issues (particularly immigration and woman's rights).  I am married to a white Midwesterner who works for Wall Street, identifies with the Tea Party regarding economic issues and tends to be more moderate with regards to social issues.  I joke that the politics don't matter in our relationship since we cancel out each others' votes.

We have been married for three years and have the most beautiful caramel-skinned child. We're expecting a second child this year. I am a poster child for breeding Hispanic women. I often joke that my husband married me so his kids would make up part of the majority in America.  

There is a little truth to it too. He loves me very much but is also very aware that this country is moving away from the whiteness he grew up with. Not all Republicans/conservatives are scared of losing homogeneity in this country – only those that are ignorant of the beauty and richness that other cultures bring to America are terrified. My husband and I are so proud to be bringing our mixed-race children into this world. We plan on educating them to the fullest and making them proud of their heritage, as well as proud Americans.