Hung Like A Barnacle

More of a compliment than you might think. From a survey of penises in the animal kingdom:

Spiny anteaters sport four-headed varieties that rotate between copulations. Although most birds don’t have penises, the phalluses of Argentine lake ducks are nearly eight inches long (almost as long as an ostrich’s), corkscrew-shaped, and festooned with dense, brushy spines that sharpen to hard spikes at the base. Despite a 33-inch member and a penis-to-body ratio of seven to one, Limax redii, a Swiss slug, doesn’t have the most impressive proportions in nature. That title goes to Balanus glandula, which wows the tide pool with its prodigious barnacle penis. Permanently cemented to a tidal rock, the barnacle sports a penis 40 times the size of its body.