Unsurprised By Doubt

by Matthew Sitman

Lauren Winner, author of the religious memoir Still, reflects on what she’s learned since the book’s publication:

What has changed is:  I didn’t really know, even when writing the book, that many Christian communities in times gone by would have said “Oh, this is normal, this dark night of the soul, this doubt. This is part of the expected choreography of a Christian life.”  If I had known that, while writing Still, there probably would have been a chapter: “dark night choreography,” or somesuch.

It is only in the last year or so that I have begun to read and study and learn that many, many wise saints from times gone by would say, about a season of doubt or alienation from God or despair, “This is not an aberration.  This is one of the well-established patterns of Christian life.” Not every Christian lives through such a season, but for many people, it is simply part of the architecture, part of what we can expect along the path to God, the path to true intimacy with God and self and neighbor.