Declining to believe “America’s shitbrews are all the same,” Will Gordon ranks “36 cheap American beers” to guide your drunkenness today. Near the bottom of the list, at number 35? Bud Light Lime:
When Anheuser-Busch spit this one out a few years ago it seemed like a pretty good idea, as terrible ideas go. The world never needs more flavors of Bud Light, but the popularity of the otherwise worthless Corona proves that folks love to limen up their beers. Barroom fruit is repulsive—ever think about where your lime’s been before it lands in your drink? Nowhere nice—so if Bud Light Lime were any good at all, it would be a little leap forward. But alas, the alleged lime flavoring in no way resembles people food. Bud Light Lime tastes like green Froot Loops soaked in thigh sweat.
PBR comes in at number 5:
It took me a few years to come around on PBR, probably because I was the sort of dipshit who worried about what message my beer was sending. Now that I’m liberated from such petty concerns, I can tell the world, “Hey, look at me spend $14 to get all-day drunk on clean, nondescript beer that tastes like Budweiser is supposed to.”
And number 1? Grain Belt Premium:
I always think of Minnesota as a secretly sexy place, and not just because of Kent Hrbek and Al Franken. Maybe it’s all the trout and music and Lutherans. Toss in a smooth, creamy, and dreamy local budget brew like Grain Belt and it’s a wonder Minnesota hasn’t seceded to form its own naked blond utopia. Grain Belt Premium is America’s finest cheap beer.
The Dish 