Shauna Miller sounds off on Hanna Rosin’s post on gay monogamy, focusing on the lesbian phenomenon of “‘U-Hauling’ – packing up and moving in together after knowing each other for just three months”:
I can only speak for my own observations about gay women, but I do agree with Rosin’s assertion that the current crop of young gays–women included–are freer with casual relationships and even the idea of responsible, respectful polyamory. Janet Hardy’s The Ethical Slut came out in 1997, and by the time we were in college we were fluent in Dan Savage, being GGG, and the idea of monogamishness. The generation now in their twenties is even more attuned to this. There are certainly inspiring, committed poly relationships in my circles.
With everything changing over the past decade (and few weeks), maybe the future model for lesbian families will look different. Maybe it will be a mom, mama and kids. Or two moms and a donor dad. Or an intentional family of several partners. At the same time, more lesbian couples than ever are raising kids together. I’ve been to approximately 607 lesbian weddings over the past three years. I know a LOT now about where to find quality sperm. There is something to be said–and Mundy said it well–about the wisdom gay women have to offer straight couples in terms of what works in a marriage. Now that we have a few more rights in terms of marriage ourselves, perhaps we will slow down on trying to get there so fast.
The Dish 