A reader writes:
You really struck a chord with the operative term on this one: consent. Compare this to the issues in my hometown of San Diego, where our mayor Bob Filner seems to be engaging in a pattern of very non-consensual sexual harassment. I didn’t vote for the guy, but I supported him once he was in office. Now most of his sane supporters and I want him gone. I can’t blame them – it speaks to a serious level of disrespect for other people.
Weiner’s actions were totally consensual. All other things being equal, I’d still vote for him if I was a New Yorker. Being a 29-year-old Millennial, I’ve gotten plenty sick of watching political careers get consumed by some good old fashioned hanky panky. Kennedy (and countless others) did that shit too; he just didn’t have a mechanism to accidentally get pics of his dick exposed to the masses.
Other readers are much more critical:
I agreed with you until I saw that press conference. Watching his naked narcissism on display and his poor, shy, beautiful wife having to smile and say she supports him in his attempt to resurrect his career made me think he’s just another asshole. He has a problem. The fact that while losing his career he is still engaging in the same behavior means he can’t help himself. This “I’m a changed man” tour is nonsense. How hard is it to not send pictures of your dick, really? Does his ego need to be stroked (lol) that badly?
The first time I felt bad for him, sad that his career had to end over something that was personal and fairly innocuous in the scheme of things. Now after witnessing that spectacle of selfishness and blind ambition, I think he’s a scumbag. His wife should run for mayor instead.
Another:
Huma Abedin stated, “Anthony has made some horrible mistakes both before he was in Congress and after.” So, she clearly was not okay with his second round of extramarital sexting. This was clearly not consensual and within the bounds of their own private marriage agreement. It obviously was another shock, another upset to Huma. She looked sad.
This by no means makes Weiner a pervert or a predator. But it sure makes him reckless and selfish.
Even after his humiliation in Congress, knowing full well that any further sexting is going to come back to bite him and further humiliate him and his wife and upset his plans for NYC mayor and her career plans, he does it again? What’s wrong with this guy? It’s not being prude or judgmental for New Yorkers to ask whether or not they want a person with such an obvious lack of self-control at the levers of power.
Another:
At first, your post made total sense to me, but I came to a full stop when I read this: “and in virtual space, no coercion is really possible”. With all the stories of online bullying and the possibility of blackmail, coercion is totally possible.
I meant physical coercion. Another reader:
I appreciate your general critique of America’s sometimes puritanical culture being at odds with reality. But it’s worth pointing out that Career Services officers are constantly admonishing college students to make sure there’s nothing embarrassing about themselves on-line. Karen Owen of Duke is only the most extreme example of rendering oneself unemployable in Corporate America via a Google search. Given that this reality has been appreciated for many years now, Weiner has (yet again) shown astonishingly poor judgement. He is seeking responsibility for managing a city of 8 million people, yet if he were a college student or regular working stiff, he wouldn’t be able to find even an entry level job.
One more:
I recently took my girlfriend of three weeks out on a relatively expensive date involving dinner, drinks and a show. Up until that night, she had been picking up the tab for something each time we went out, but on that particular night, she looked me in the eye and said, “This pussy has value. If you want to get laid tonight, you’re going to pick up the tab for everything.” I was a little taken back because I’ve dated a few strict feminists in the past who insist on splitting everything 50-50 and I much prefer that, but the “This pussy has value” attitude is pretty prevalent among both men and women, and so like most men, on that particular night I picked up the tab for everything and I got laid.
All that is to say, what did Eliot Spitzer really do wrong? He paid for pussy, a common transaction between men and women that happens every single day in 80-90% of the relationships in America – married and unmarried, long term and brand-new. As far as I can tell, he exhibited no serious personality defects or general sliminess. In fact, I appreciate that he kept it purely a business transaction.
Compare this to Weiner, who apparently can’t control his own behavior, entangled his sexual targets in his political life, repeatedly lied to everyone and attempted to shield himself behind his wife while exposing her to public humiliation. It is for good reason I think that many people are willing to give Spitzer another chance while they are through with Weiner.
The Dish 