Readers sound off on this post:
I hesitate to comment when you’re in such high dudgeon, but I’d like to point out that Tina
Brown (who should be able to write more clearly) probably wasn’t referring to Weiner’s adulterywhen she called his behavior “dickmanship.” What she meant washis highly reckless behavior in continuing to send dick pix after his resignation and grand public mea culpa. And while it’s not equivalent by orders of magnitude, the recklessness of the banker, the ship captain and the train engineer was probably what led to those tragedies.
As for Brown tarring the entire gender, I don’t agree with that, either. I know many men who find Weiner’s behavior deeply dishonorable. But I am hard-pressed to come up with examples of “consequences be damned, the rules don’t apply to me” recklessness among women (except Sarah Palin, where it’s arguably part of her act). I guess what I’m saying is, not all men engage in “dickmanship,” but those who do are almost always men. And when you’re a woman, it’s hard not to attribute it to the male sense of entitlement we deal with every day.
Another female reader differs:
The diatribes by these two (and I will admit that I enjoyed Tina’s) are a very stark example of why “feminism” is dying out. Young women see the entire picture, see the role of women in all these scandals (not as victims, but generally as willing partners) and don’t engage in general male-bashing. The old school paradigm of woman as victim and the man as complete dick just doesn’t work for most women under 45. And thank goodness for that.
I enjoyed Tina’s a lot too. I wish she’d write more. Another woman:
Waitwaitwait, just wait a minute. There’s a lot going on here, and you might be conflating some slightly related topics that might not all be totally related.
I’m with you on the whole “Clinton-people-throwing-stones-from-their-own-glass-houses” thing. It’s outrageous, and yes, another reason to pray that Hillary finds something else to do with her golden years, and take Bill with her. Yes, both Tina and Sally are overwrought and judgy and, maybe, shrill. Yes, really, it’s not our business.
But you, as a male (gay/straight, no matter), have stumbled upon a little truth nugget that gets laughs sometimes, but may be more true than you know: Women (even professional journalists) quite often think men are dumb – like, really stupid, led-around-by-their-peckers dumb. As in George Carlin’s “Women are crazy, men are stupid, and women are crazy because men are stupid.”
A while back there was some conversation about why much more Dish readers are male than female. This might be one of those times when having a better grasp of, not only the female psyche, but, maybe even female life experience could help you.
I saw it as soon as I started reading the piece – the underlying eye roll that ALL women have adopted after living life with fathers and husbands and pushy bosses and wolf-whistles on sidewalks. It’s not just powerful men seeking more power. Working in a blue-collar environment, I can tell you, there are eye rolls in abundance from the girls whenever certain men walk by (waaaay too much testosterone going on with that one). I remember seeing interviews of transsexuals who went from male to female, and didn’t realize how much more empowered they were as males, just by virtue of being male. There is a difference in how you experience the world, and how the world experiences you.
So when Anthony Weiner shows us who he is (again), all we girls can do is the eye roll and ask “Jesus, this shit, again?” So there is a backstory here that, you must remember, is most likely the backstory of a majority of women. Sorry, but the very fact that you have a dick can make you dumb. Sometimes your testosterone is charming. But not always. “Being guilty of being online while male.” Hello? Dumb.
A male reader:
I hope this post develops into a conversation. The demonization of heterosexual male sexuality is one of the larger taboos in our culture.
There is a great scene in Before Midnight where Ethan Hawke talks about hating a man for his sexual drive is like hating a frog for being green. It is possible to say this while also saying that you value your own, and even other people’s, personal commitments. It is a matter of recognizing what is the case about common patterns of normal heterosexual male sexuality and simultaneously assessing one’s valuation of one’s own, and possibly other people’s, personal sexual commitments. The degree to which you value those commitments seems to be better formed if it’s grounded in an honest understanding of heterosexual male sexuality. This doesn’t excuse anything; it places a proper degree of valuation on the matter.
(Photo: a view of a part of the chalk figure at Cerne Abbas in England.)
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