Danya Ruttenberg ponders what would happen if “the experiences, issues and questions that come out of parenting were taken seriously in our thinking about prayer, theology and religious practice”:
Jewish law suggests that you shouldn’t hold a child during prayer, lest she disturb your concentration; that you shouldn’t kiss your children in synagogue, to help you learn that no love compares to love of God; that if your child is crying, you should indicate to the child — without speaking — to stop crying, and if that doesn’t work, you should walk away from her so that her crying does not disturb your prayer. Another source reminds fathers not to hold a diapered child before afternoon prayers, lest he become soiled and miss the start of services.
There is a not-very-implicit assumption that someone else, somewhere, is in charge of the sticky, cuddly, needy, emotional little humans who evidently impede a person’s ability to live a life of spiritual service. Spirituality and young children are placed in opposing, incompatible spheres. Women, in particular, are relegated, along with the children, away from wherever it is that they are keeping a connection with the transcendent. People actively engaged in parenting are not wanted there.
The idea that loving and caring for children could be a core, crucial, even transformative aspect of a religious life is totally absent from this tradition.
The Dish 