A lone female blogger, Nicki Daniels, wrote a piece about how hipsters are ruining beards by making it harder for her to find a truly manly man (rather than a poseur who can’t change tires/got me there). I’m way late to this, but the apology she wrote to her countless detractors, is an anti-p.c. blog classic that a reader just sent me. Money quote:
Since I wrote this post, I have been introduced to an amazing group of people called “feminists”. They told me that we are living in something called a “patriarchal society” and apparently it’s guys like you that have been keeping us women down for centuries. My mind is blown! Apparently, by me wishing for a more old fashioned guy, I am encouraging the perpetuation of this nefarious
system. I have gotten a library card and plan to read more about this. As a side note, I also learned that no means no.
These awesome feminists also told me that by calling a man a “pussy”, I am equating female genitalia with weakness. I’m still on the fence about that one. Honestly, I just thought it sounds funny. Plus I am always bragging about my own freakishly strong vagina, so by that logic if I call a guy a pussy I am actually calling him “amazing”. Hmmm. Food for thought, friends …
I’m deeply sorry for being sexist, or practicing “reverse sexism”. Honestly, I didn’t know that was a thing. I mean, didn’t we just get the right to vote? You’re right, how would I feel if the situation were reversed, and men were telling me what is a sexy way to dress and look. I have never experienced that before, but I can only imagine it would be profoundly hurtful.
For those of you who said I am perpetuating violence, and stuff like this can actually cause hate crimes, I am actually weeping with remorse. I didn’t realize that people don’t think for themselves. People could read that open letter, and since their minds are as malleable as Play Doh, they might actually hurt someone for having a hipster beard. Please don’t hurt anyone, people. I already feel bad enough. I simply cannot have that on my conscience.
Update from a reader:
Here was my favorite comment and her reply:
From: BEARDBRAIN February 6, 2014 at 11:41 pm
Fuck this article. I don’t go around writing open letters about women’s body hair, appearance, and how it’s inappropriate for them to wear a dress and do taxidermy cause it’s un feminine. If i said anything like this it’d be on jezebel faster than people are willing to dish out the word hipster to any person who doesn’t look like they are from the adult equivalent of the highschool football team. My masculinity and beard is up to me, not to any woman. Fuck off and eat kale.
Reply from: Nicki Daniels February 7, 2014 at 12:23 am
Who’s Kale?
The Dish 