A reader can relate:
I liked your post on Playing the Whore and would like to share some insight into Seattle’s Kink community, of which I am a member. The first thing that struck me about the community is how safe it feels. The guiding principle is that anyone can give or take away consent at any time without judgement. This is not something you can expect in the outside world, but it is non-negotiable in here. It’s this level of security that has given me the confidence to explore situations I would not otherwise attempt and has allowed me to derive pleasure in ways I never expected.
I know some people get off on the perv-factor, but nothing I’ve witnessed or engaged in has felt perverted or deviant to me, and I think the open, non-judgmental atmosphere is what enables the seeming normality of it all.
Another factor, to my mind, is that we’re all just regular people; we’re the gal you see on the bus or that guy who works at your bank. You see kinky people everyday going about their normal lives, I get to see them do much more than that and it makes me feel special.
There is something I engage in, however, that I think would be very difficult for outsiders to understand, and that’s okay because I don’t think I would have understood it myself if not for the opportunity to try it in a safe place with people I trust. I like to engage in impact play, on both sides, which results in bruises, wounds and all manner of battle scars. I take great pride in my marks and often photograph them to share, as many others do. I know that my photos can sometimes make it appear as though I were a victim of a violent crime or domestic abuse. I don’t have fantasies about being abused or beaten.
The thing that surprised me most the first time I tried it was that the process is not humiliating or degrading in any way. On the contrary, it can actually be very beautiful. Perhaps it’s because I tried it first as a top and found that I can fulfill this request from another with tenderness and completely without malice resulting in something both intimate and sublime. I guess if I tried to explain it to someone that would be it, the difference is matter of hitting someone out of anger/desire to control vs. hitting someone out of love/desire to please. Different worlds, similar results.
Thanks for shining your spotlight on this world and keep up the good work!
The Dish 