A few readers respond to our post on people who pass away after the death of loved ones:
This reminded me of one of my favorite Kurt Vonnegut gems, from Cat’s Cradle. Without getting too into Bokononism, Vonnegut describes a specific kind of karass called a “duprass” which is a pairing of people who stay together for life. Whenever I hear about someone who dies from grief soon after the death of their spouse, I always think of the duprass. Per Vonnegut:
“A duprass … is a a valuable instrument for gaining and developing, in the privacy of an interminable love affair, insights that are queer but true.”
“A true duprass … can’t be invaded, not even by children born of such a union.”
“Members of a duprass always die within a week of each other.”
Another raises a related issue:
Don’t ignore advance care planning, the process that can relieve so much of the stress, pain, and spiritual distress you write about so eloquently. If we have rich, reflective discussions about our past experiences, choose an agent wisely, and share our values and wants with them as we move through life, the whole dying process is different.
I’m gonna keep bugging you about this. Advance care planning is great policy and superb blog fodder. I’m a loyal Dishhead and something of a leader in this movement, and ready to share more as soon as you are. One video introduction to the concept is here.
The Dish 