A reader writes:
I’m finally emailing you and it’s because of back hair. Executive branch malfeasance, congressional skullduggery, calamitous events that threaten to shake society to their very core have transpired since I first started reading your wonderful site ages ago. You write ONE missive about back hair and now I feel the urge to reach out.
It cannot be overstated just how much of a hindrance this perfectly natural state of being can be to an individual. Every day one is faced with the perception that they are grossly hideous because of the way God made them. Trips to the beach, a visit to a swimming pool, intramural sports ( I don’t even want to begin with mockery that can come from a shirts versus skins match). All of these moments can just wear ones self-esteem to the point that it’s just easier to avoid them.
It’s easy enough to say that you should be proud of who you are, but it is through the difficulty in getting to this point that I understand in some miniscule way how hard it can be to be different from the norm. I don’t really expect to there be any sort of reversal, but it would be great if I didn’t hear a “Take your shirt off. Oh you already did.” or “Shouldn’t you be back in the zoo?” joke after removing my top. Maybe one day that will happen, but I’m not expecting it.
Another:
I never realized how maligned back hair is. I’m a straight woman and my boyfriend has a lusciously hairy back.
I call him furry. I love to nestle in it while I’m spooning him. Or nestle his chest hair from the front. It’s one of my favorite things about him, and makes every other man seem peculiarly hairless.
This thought of yours struck me: “Or maybe because when a man allows his body to be what it is, and doesn’t try to micromanage every inch of it, he’s inherently sexier than the manscaped, plucked and trussed twink version.” Man, I wish more straight men had this attitude toward women. Or really, I wish a fraction of straight men held this attitude toward women and hair.
Our reader should check out the Dish thread, “Why Should Women Shave?” Another laments:
As a gay man who is naturally about as smooth as a baby, it is one of my own life’s greatest sadnesses that I am not hairy. I barely even have pubes. Hairy chests and thighs, especially, really turn me on (I’m fairly indifferent about back hair, but it doesn’t bother me). No man in my family is hairy.
But your story about drawing men covered in fur reminded me of an episode from my own childhood. I must have been about 5 or 6, probably, and I had one Ken doll among my many Barbies. At some point I decided this plastic replica of a man wasn’t to my liking at all, and I found a Sharpie and drew a massive pubic bush on him, and covered his chest in black, inky swirls. I don’t even know how I knew to do this, but I knew I liked it much better that way.
Unfortunately my two older brothers found it and thought it was the most hilarious thing in the world and told my parents. My dad took it away from me, though to this day, I still have no idea why. Especially since he was desperately trying not to laugh when he did it. We never talked about that Ken doll again. Nor did I ever get it back.
(Photo: the hubby by Ric Ide Photography for Tim-scapes in Provincetown.)
The Dish 