by Dish Staff
A reader writes:
I enjoyed Phoebe’s commentary regarding Jezebel’s Disney character nude-rendering piece. However, I don’t agree with the generalized notion that women are purported, or at least depicted, to not care about men’s looks. I think Phoebe slightly underplays the spectatorial role of women that women have obtained in hetero-normative dating. The height thing is a real thing; in my experience, it’s the most likely deal breaker to be found on most online dating websites (it’s certainly the most verbalized one). Perhaps online dating contains a different dynamic than dating in general, but the general gawking, ogling and just plain fantasizing about ideal men and their bodies types seems rather abundant at this point.
Another:
Your post interrupted my work and dragged me out of my “Andrew’s on vacation” lethargy and back into Post Mode. Women and men’s height: really? You’re shocked that women are interested, concerned – no – even fixated on height?
I’m a whopping 5′ 6″ (plus a 1/2″ on a good day).
It’s never bothered me, and I’ve been extremely happily married for 22 years to an incredible, beautiful, powerful, successful woman, but … I oh so remember my high school-college-pre-marriage days of dating. Do you know how many times I was told to my face that I wasn’t tall enough? How many times I was set up on dates only to see the woman’s face fall when she met me saw and I wasn’t (much) taller than her? How many female friends said they would never date men their height or shorter, that is was “weird,” and lived by the mantra of “TALL, dark, and handsome?” (BTW: I’m considered good looking, smart, and have a terrific sense of humor, so it’s not that I’m a hideous looking asocial troll. Just for the record!)
There are SO many women who worry about a man’s height, who want someone to be taller than they are even when wearing heels, who worry what their friends will think. Ah! There it is. If it’s true that only a minority of women really insist on taller men, then I’m sure there is a larger, sizable group that is concerned about what other women would think of them dating someone who was “short.” (I’m not going to address the “Daddy” thing, as I have no idea if needing a “Big, strong man” is related to daddy-fixation or not.)
And, I have to ask you: how many times do you see women walking hand-in-hand with men on the street and yet towering over them? Like the idea that no one complains about Harrison Ford’s love interest being in her 30s while he is in his 70s – it may be wrong, but no one complains about the “law” that men must be taller than their women. Sorry, but it’s way too common to be a “fetish.” It’s more the rule I believe.
And another:
As a 5’10” straight guy who is single and looking, I think the issue isn’t that women prefer tall men to short men. The issue is what women consider “short.” I saw a recent study that found that 80% of women prefer a man who is 6 feet tall or taller. Well, only 15% of men in the US are that height. Do the math.
Let’s look at male sex symbols who aren’t tall enough for most girls by that standard: George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, Daniel Craig, Sam Worthington, James Franco, Colin Farrell, Jeremy Renner, Zac Efron, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Taylor Lautner, Joaquin Phoenix, Orlando Bloom, and Mark Wahlberg – just to name a handful of sub-6 foot “shorties.” And throw in the actor whom many consider the most beautiful man who ever lived: Paul Newman, a sad 5’10”. And that little wimp, Steve McQueen, also 5’10”. And that midget, James Dean, at 5’8″. And all of The Beatles.
I blame the Internet. 6 feet is a nice round number for your online search preferences. At 5’10” (average male height in the US), it never occurred to me that my height could be an obstacle for me – after all, I look down at as many guys as I look up at – until I started online dating. Suddenly a number was put on my height for all to see, and that little 2-inch gap between me and 6 feet apparently makes me far less of a man to the female height-shamers, many of whom probably wouldn’t consider my height an issue if we met in person rather than online.
For a lot more reader input on the subject, check out the long Dish thread, “The Bias Against Short Men“.
(Screenshot from an OKCupid profile)
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