An “actual nerd” joins this reader in stating his case for true nerdom:
Female nerds take a stand against the reader:
He is a perfect example of everything that is wrong with this particular sordid corner of NerdCulture. As a woman, I earned my nerd status in exactly the same way as every other picked-on kid in school ever did: by being labeled that by my peers. I was bullied, I was mocked for reading too much SFF, for playing Dungeons and Dragons, and for not being very good at sports. Now this guy and folks like him want to tell me I didn’t earn that nerd card? That I don’t belong with the only group where I have ever belonged? I have some choice four letter words for him, as well as advice on where he can stick them.
The wonder of it all is that he clearly can’t even see his hypocrisy – that he is doing exactly the same thing to women that has been done to him. And while I may sympathize with his situation, I
don’t need his permission to lay claim to territory that has been mine since the first time I read The Hobbit at age five or discovered Batman comics at fourteen. Nerd territory is the domain of the outcast and the iconoclast, and it has never been about needing anyone’s approval. Watching these men try to say that they suddenly have some kind of say in who gets to wear the label would be hilarious if it wasn’t so infuriating.
Another is a tad more direct:
Speaking as a female nerd, your reader can definitely go fuck himself over that thought train. I’ve spent my entire life dealing with assholes like him and how I’m a “fake nerd” simply because I have breasts and a vagina. News flash dude: my adolescence was probably half as fun as yours.
I was also introverted, awkward with people and interested in stuff no one else cared about, but the community I should have been able to band together with, the people who you found and clearly bonded with, rejected me out right. And yeah, if I wasn’t slightly obsessive (and a stubborn little cuss, as my mother use to say), I probably would have dropped all of it years ago and followed something else more appropriately “female”. But I love what I love and I make no bones about it to anyone, even if they do think I’m a little outside the lines.
Another also reflects on her adolescence:
It’s fucking miserable being a smart, nerdy 12-year-old girl. No one likes it that you’d rather play Civ or fine tune your Magic deck. Boys are angry that you are in their thing, or worse, better than them at it. Girls don’t care about your thing and soon care less for you when you talk about your thing.
Luckily I had my mother, a scientist, devoted Star Trek fan (sorry, enthusiast) and careful curator of my voracious reading habits. She made sure I had plenty of female role models, almost all of the fictional ones ostracized underdogs fighting for justice. Some people have religion. I had Alanna and Aerin.
And another:
I sincerely hope you are getting a significant amount of pushback on this “apologia of sorts” because, as a woman who is sick and tired of demands that I verify my nerd credentials to countless men throughout my life, this genuinely disturbed me.
Like your reader, I too immersed myself in video games, comics, science fiction and all things nerdom as young person and continue to embrace them well into adulthood. But unlike this guy, I do not have an “imbalance of personality” or any other such “personality defect”. I did it because I liked it, and I still do. I’m 36 years old, I have 6 game consoles, and thousands of comic books I collected throughout the ’80s and ’90s, among other artifacts like props and costumes.
But where I diverge the most from your other reader is the impact of our shared pursuits becoming more mainstream. The things I used to think made me a loser are now things that I think make me pretty cool. It’s really done wonders for my self esteem; I was the nerdy bookworm and now I’m the cool smart chick. It’s too bad that he can’t embrace the fact the changes in the industry mean we’re no longer outcasts even if we are still weird.
One last related comment. Any female gamer who has ever tried to enter the hyper-masculine confines of the XBox live community and any male gamer who has encountered a female gamer there, should be unsurprised by the GamerGate fiasco. Make no mistake, this is an exclusive club and his allusion to this exclusivity (“Frankly, I do question the claim of many women who say they are nerds”) is extremely mild compared to what I’ve experienced. He saying we don’t belong or rather we must prove to me that we belong before being accepted, most say much worse.
Well, thanks again for getting me all fired up on Thursday morning! What would I do without The Dish? (Probably work more, but work isn’t everything, you know.)
Follow the whole thread on gaming culture here.
(Photo of two actual nerds at Comic Con via Leah Zander)
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